Internationals
by SinfulPerfection
Summary: After winning Nationals, the New Directions must compete in Internationals. They spend a week being hosted by their opponents, the Hogwarts glee club, where they encounter wizards, witches, and magic. Harry Potter/Glee crossover. Brittana Finchel Klaine
1. Prologue

**A/N: So I'm writing another Harry Potter crossover story! This time it's with Glee. Even though the prologue is all Harry Potter, the rest of the story will feature the Glee characters as they travel to Hogwarts and eventually meet the Harry Potter characters. For Harry Potter, this story takes place in Harry's 6th year, except that it's 2011, Snape still teaches potions, and Dumbledore is still alive. For Glee, everything follows canon completely EXCEPT the New Directions won Nationals. Other than that, it picks up right where the second season left off, so the couples you can expect to see are Finchel, Brittana, Pizes, Samcedes, Tike, and Klaine. This story will have drama but it is mostly humorous and cracky, so you have been warned. Thanks for reading :)**

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><p><em>October<em>

It was past midnight, and the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry slept quietly in their beds, snuggled under their sheets as rain pounded hard against the windows. It was a cold, miserable night in October, and the animals of the Forbidden Forest had long since sought shelter within the trees. Only one lone figure remained outside, braving the inclement weather. Unseen by anyone, he floated high above the grounds, hovering without the use of a broomstick outside a very specific window on one of Hogwarts' many towers. The rain seemingly did not bother him as it pounded against his bald head and ran down his pale face into his slit-like nostrils. He remained unaffected by the cold as he peered into the window through red, snake-like eyes.

Inside was a magnificent office, and in the center at the exquisite desk sat two men. One was quite old, with long white hair and a matching beard that rested in his lap. The other was younger, with sallow skin and greasy black hair. It was this man who spoke first.

"Might I ask why this meeting had to take place so late, Headmaster?" Snape asked in his usual nasally voice.

"Because," Dumbledore replied gravely, "there is a matter of great importance that I need to discuss with you. We cannot risk being overheard or interrupted." Outside, the man adjusted his Extendible Ear and waited with bated breath.

"Well, then, what is it?" Snape asked with an air of impatience. "Does it have something to do with the Order?"

Dumbledore did not answer immediately. Instead, he stroked his beard thoughtfully before speaking. "I was looking through some old documents, Severus, and I found this." He pulled a paper out of his desk and slid it across the table. Snape leaned in closer to look at it. His demeanor changed immediately. His posture collapsed and color flooded his face.

"That—that's—where did you find that?" he spluttered.

"Just in some old files," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. "Why didn't you tell me you had been in the Broadway production of _Cats_? You know the affinity I have for Muggle theater."

"I…I didn't think it was relevant," Snape replied awkwardly. "It was so long ago…"

"Well, nevertheless, it's given me an excellent idea," Dumbledore continued. "You see, for a long time now, I have wanted to create a Hogwarts glee club. When I was a boy—a very long time ago, mind you—we had a glee club here. We would do the most marvelous eight part harmonies. I sang tenor, if I remember correctly. Oh, we had such fun, traveling all over the countryside, performing Beethoven's latest hits…"

"How old _are_ you?" Snape asked in disbelief.

"It was not only a chance for us to create beautiful music, but a chance for us to get to know one another and share a unique bond," Dumbledore continued, ignoring Snape's question. "And ever since I became headmaster, I knew that I wanted to share that experience with the students that are here now. But the problem was that I could never find someone suitable to be in charge. My headmaster duties prohibited me from manning the helm of such a project. But now that I know you have a background in music, I can finally form the club that I have been anticipating for so long!"

"Now wait a moment, Headmaster," Snape said desperately. "I was on orders from You-Know-Who at the time. I was going undercover in New York and I had to join the show so I didn't arouse any suspicion. I hardly consider that a 'background in music.' You should really consider getting someone else."

"No, I don't think so," Dumbledore said, and Snape's heart sank. "I really think this would be the best thing for the Hogwarts glee club. Besides, you do owe me…or have you forgotten the risks I have gone through to defend you and to keep you at this school?"

"No, I have not forgotten," Snape muttered, looking down at his feet. The last thing he wanted to do was be in charge of a glee club. It had been humiliating enough for him to be demonized by his coworkers and constantly denied the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts, all because he maintained a crucial position as a spy within Voldemort's ranks—the only spy of his kind, as a matter of fact. It would seem that someone who endured work as important as his would be treated with respect and honor at Hogwarts, by Dumbledore at the very least, but here he was, being forced to coach a _glee club_. However, he did not dare refuse. "I suppose I can be in charge," he conceded with a sigh. "For this year only," he added, trying to hold on to what little dignity he had left.

"That is more than I could have ever hoped for," Dumbledore replied, his eyes coming alive with joy. "Music is the greatest form of magic, after all."

"For your sake, I hope you're right," Snape said, too quietly for Dumbledore to hear. But the figure outside of the window heard, and he withdrew his Extendible Ear with a smirk.

"Yes, I hope you are right, Dumbledore," Lord Voldemort said to himself, still hovering outside of the headmaster's office. "After all, you will need all the magic you can get." He placed the Extendible Ear into the pocket of his robes and flew unassisted into the darkening night sky. When Voldemort had heard that Snape was to have an important conversation with Dumbledore tonight, he had not expected it to be about the formation of a glee club. Nevertheless, an idea was beginning to form in his head. A great and terrible idea that was sure to lead to the utter destruction of Hogwarts and the formation of a new world order under his leadership. Dumbledore had not realized his mistake. "The old fool," Voldemort cackled as he zoomed through the air. "He has played right into my hands once again…"

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><p>"You are all simply terrible," Snape said in disgust, looking around the room at the students assembled before him. "Every single one of you. I don't know what possessed you to join a glee club, but none of you can sing for dragon dung. Class dismissed!" He watched with a small amount of satisfaction as the students left the room, some of them nearly in tears. Who did they think they were anyway? So far, not a single member of his club had any technique. They could be taught, surely, but it would take time and effort far beyond Snape's capabilities.<p>

Despite his insistence to the contrary, Snape did have quite an extensive background in music. It had been the reason he was chosen to go undercover as a Broadway star in the first place. During his teenage years, alone and friendless, he had turned to music as an escape from his otherwise dull life. When he left school, he had toyed with the thought of forming a band. He found some other wizards with a marginal amount of talent, and they had spent a few years playing at clubs in London under the name Sevvy and the Warlocks. In the end, though, their drummer left to study Divination in South Africa, and the rest went their separate ways. Without the willpower to carry on with such an unstable career path, Snape had turned back towards the only place he had ever loved: Hogwarts. Dumbledore had offered Snape a job readily, despite Snape's hatred for children, and he had not had another foray into the world of music for many, many years. But he could not deny that he experienced a certain thrill while coaching the Hogwarts glee club, as much as it pained him to admit it. Therefore, he felt a certain desire to make sure the club did well.

What he really needed, Snape thought as he made his way towards the Slytherin common room, was one person who could show the club what their potential was. He needed someone who could really sing, someone who could take the lead. There had to be someone in this school who had some talent. But whoever it was, they hadn't bothered to try out for the glee club. Not that he could blame them. Despite his secret love of music, he hadn't exactly broadcasted the fact that he was running glee club to the rest of the school and the faculty. Most of the students probably hadn't even heard of it, and those who did undoubtedly considered themselves too cool to join.

Snape entered the Slytherin common room and went down the hallway towards the dormitories for his daily inspections. When he passed the boys' dormitory for the sixth years, however, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of music wafting over his head. Tentatively, he doubled back. It was coming from the communal bathroom within the dorm. Snape glanced around before making his way inside.

The music was much louder within the room, and Snape now caught the sound of the heavy spray of shower water hitting tile. Someone was singing. It was a boy, a tenor, and his voice was rich yet sweet, innocent yet powerful. Snape was transfixed by the sound and his feet carried him through the bathroom, past the stalls and around the corner to the showers, where a white-blond head of hair could be seen over the tops of the cubicles. His eyes were closed as he sang passionately to the shower head.

_Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
>I've forgotten what I started fighting for<br>And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
>Come crashing through your door<br>Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore _

Suddenly, as if sensing Snape's presence, the boy stopped singing and his eyes snapped open. He immediately turned off the shower and reached for a towel, draping it around his waist. "I'm sorry Professor," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to—I won't do it again."

"It's alright, Malfoy," Snape said, still in a state of shock. "I just had no idea…"

"No idea what?" Malfoy asked, looking at Snape curiously. He opened the door to the cubicle and stepped out, carrying his shampoo bag in one hand,

"No idea that it was you who was causing the ruckus," Snape said, coming to his senses. "There are students trying to do homework, you know."

"Of course," Malfoy said, looking down at his feet. He made to go around Snape and leave the bathroom, but Snape couldn't let him go that easily. He wanted—no, needed—Malfoy to join the glee club. He was exactly the kind of miracle Snape had been looking for.

"Actually, I'm not done," Snape said, causing Malfoy to pause. "It has also come to my attention that your grades have been less than satisfactory since school began. I would have thought that after getting only three O.W.L.s, you would start out this year by trying a little harder."

"But sir," Malfoy protested. He lowered his voice. "Why does it matter? I mean, is You-Know-Who really going to care—"

"It's about appearances, you idiot!" Snape interrupted with a hiss. "If you are not going to put time into your studies, I would be happy to find another way for you to spend that time."

"That won't be necessary," Malfoy mumbled.

"I hope not," Snape said. "But just in case…I would like you to serve an hour's worth of detention this week. For making noise while people were trying to study." He smiled, pleased with himself. This was working out perfectly.

"Uh, alright," Malfoy said unhappily. "Are you going to write home to my father?"

"Not this time," Snape said, and Malfoy looked relieved. "But don't think I won't do it if I need to. I want to see you on Tuesday at four, in the old music room."

"Why not in your office?" Malfoy asked with confusion.

Snape smirked. "You'll see."

* * *

><p>Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood nervously within the large circle of Dumbledore's office. For a fourth time since school had started only a month ago, they had found themselves caught outside of their dormitory after hours by the school caretaker, Mr. Filch. Needless to say, Filch had not been pleased, and since the threesome seemed to be making no effort to change their behavior, they had been sent to see Headmaster Dumbledore. Now they were standing in front of his ornate desk, waiting. Harry, who had been in this office countless times before, was relatively unaffected by the whole experience. Ron simply looked around in interest. Hermione, on the other hand, was beside herself with anxiety.<p>

"I can't believe this!" she wailed for the third time. "Five whole school years and I never got sent to see the headmaster, and now this is how I start my sixth year? I am a prefect! I can't afford to get in trouble. What are we going to do?"

"Relax, Hermione," Ron said wearily. "Dumbledore loves us. He'll give us a slap on the wrist and we'll be on our merry way."

"Easy for you to say," Hermione retorted. "_You_ don't have a spotless record to maintain."

"Hey, let's not forget whose fault it is that we're here," Ron said defensively. "Harry's the reason that we have to keep sneaking out to feed Feenicks."

"I can't believe you actually thought it would be a good idea to raise a bear inside the Room of Requirement," Hermione said in disbelief. "Really, Harry, what were you thinking?"

"You guys love Feenicks," Harry reminded them. "And I don't remember anyone protesting when we got him in the first place."

"Well that was obviously a mistake," Hermione said, her voice going shill. "Honestly, the first thing I am going to do when we get out of here is go and strangle that stupid bear!"

"Good afternoon," a voice said suddenly, and Hermione stopped talking, looking up in alarm.

"Professor," she squeaked. "I'm sorry, I was just…"

"There is no need to apologize," Dumbledore assured her. "Please sit down." The three of them took a seat in the three chairs that had suddenly appeared on the other side of Dumbledore's desk. Despite Dumbledore's calm demeanor, Hermione did not look reassured, and she sat down on the edge of her chair, shifting slightly with anxiety. "Now, I understand you all are here because you have been caught breaking the curfew several times." The three kids nodded silently. "Mr. Filch informed me that he did not give you detention because he had done so previously and it had not stopped you from sneaking out again. He was hoping that I would suggest a punishment that was a bit stronger." Dumbledore looked at them curiously. "Do you enjoy detentions?"

"Not at all, sir," Hermione said quickly. "It's just that...well.."

"We didn't think we'd get caught so many times," Harry admitted. "So we kept sneaking out." Beside him, Ron shrugged apologetically.

"Well instead of making the punishments harsher and harsher, which, quite frankly, helps no one, I think that maybe what you three need is another way to be spending your time. You do have a remarkable propensity for getting into trouble." Dumbledore looked at them with a bit of admiration, but also disapproval. Hermione bit her lip.

"Like what?" she asked warily.

"Professor Snape has recently formed a glee club," Dumbledore said. "And if you three students join, they will have enough members to compete at Sectionals. I think that joining the glee club would be a great way for you to...express yourselves."

"Sir," Harry protested, unable to stand the thought of Snape and a glee club in one place. "Can't we just do another detention?"

"Like I said, the detentions seem to be having very little effect," Dumbledore said. "I think that in time you will come to enjoy the glee club and the valuable lessons you learn there. I would hate to see such talent go to waste." He smiled in such a way that the three kids knew that there would be no protesting. "You will attend a meeting in the music room at four," he said, and as he spoke, the door behind them opened automatically.

"Yes, sir," Harry said with a sigh as the three of them stood to leave.

"I look forward to hearing your first performance!" Dumbledore called after them as they left.

"Talent," Ron muttered as they walked down the corridor a few minutes later. "What sort of talent does he think we have, anyway? Do either of you sing?"

Harry shook his head. "I'm pretty sure I've never sang at all in my life," he said. He glanced over at Hermione.

"I did choir for several years, actually," she admitted. "But not since I came to Hogwarts."

"Mum used to make us put on performances for her in the house," Ron said, "and they were disastrous. Well, except for Ginny, she is actually pretty good. Fred and George would always toss things into her hair while she sang, though."

"Ugh, this is going to be terrible!" Harry said. "Can you imagine spending an hour a week with Snape?"

Ron sighed. "Well," he pointed out, " we won't have to imagine it..."

* * *

><p>"Alright everyone, listen up," Snape said. "We have twelve people, which means we qualify for competitions, and if we qualify, we are going to win, is that clear? I want to see us at Internationals in June."<p>

"But, Professor," Hermione said, "we haven't actually sung anything yet. How do you know we're even good enough?"

"Because I have faith in you," Snape responded kindly.

Hermione looked surprised. "Really?" she asked hopefully.

"No! Of course not. You children are nothing more than a group of sloppy idiots who have no vision or creativity. I can only hope that I can whip you into shape in time. Because we _will _get to Internationals, is that understood?" Everyone looked around at each other and nodded uncertainly. "Good. To begin, I've picked a song that I _hope _all of you know because otherwise, well, you suck." He walked over to the piano and picked up a stack of sheet music. "Creevey, come here," he commanded. Colin Creevey got up from his seat and Snape handed him the music to pass out.

"Sir," Malfoy said, looking down at the music. "Who will be doing the male solo?"

"You, of course, Malfoy," Snape replied, and Malfoy grinned smugly. "And the female solo will go to Ginny Weasley."

Harry glanced over at Ginny, who was sitting next to him. Then he raised his hand. "Professor, why can't I have a chance to sing the male solo?"

Snape stared at Harry for a long time with his eyebrows raised. There was silence. Then Crabbe and Goyle began to guffaw loudly. "You are not talented enough, Harry," Snape said with a smirk. "The solo will go to Malfoy." Harry sank down in his seat, upset.

"Sir," Lavender Brown interrupted. "If we're going to be performing in competitions, we need a name, don't we?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "We are the Hogwarts Glee Club," he said. Lavender looked disappointed. "Now, if you will all open your music and look at the first page..."

"How about the Wailing Witches?" Parvati suggested.

"We aren't all witches," Malfoy snapped. "So that's a stupid suggestion."

"The Wailing Wizards?" Colin asked.

"I said, we're the Hogwarts Glee Club," Snape interrupted sternly. "Now if we could stop wasting time and get to the _music_..."

"Double Treble!" Neville exclaimed. "You know, like 'Double Trouble', but with a treble clef."

"How about Scarmony?" Harry said.

Everyone began shouting out name suggestions as Snape tried unsuccessfully to quiet them down. The options were getting worse as the puns became more and more forced, until finally one voice carried over the rest of them. "Crescendowls," Luna said airily. Everyone became quiet.

"What did you say?" Hermione asked.

"Crescendowls," Luna repeated. "Like crescendo. And owls."

"That name is simply terrible," Snape said. "I didn't think someone could come up with a name worse than Hogwarts, but you just did it."

"It's...perfect," Malfoy said in awe.

"Agreed," Ron said.

"It rolls off the tongue," Harry added.

Snape looked around the room in bewilderment. "So I guess we're...Crescneowls?" There was a collective nod. "Alright," he said in disgust. "Whatever. Let's just get to the singing already." He glanced behind him to the band of warlocks that he had hired to help with rehearsals. "Hit it!"

Everyone began to harmonize uncertainly. After a couple of measures, Malfoy came in with his solo. "_Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, he took the midnight train going anywhere_."

He was pretty good, Harry had to admit. But he was not at all prepared for the voice that came next. "_Just a city boy_," Ginny sang, "_born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere_."

Ginny had the voice of an angel. Harry forgot his part as he listened to her and Malfoy alternate stanzas. The rest of the club sang more strongly, feeding off the energy from the two soloists. Harry hated to admit it, but they sounded really, really good.

"_Don't stop believing! Hold on to that feeling! Streetlight people..._" Harry jumped up in his seat as they got to the refrain, and so did everyone else, dancing around the room as they sang. Lavender and Parvati climbed onto the piano. Crabbe, Goyle, and Colin hoisted Ginny and Malfoy into the air. Neville grabbed Snape and they began to tango. It was madness, but they sounded amazing. "_Don't stop!_" they all belted out at the end. The music stopped abruptly and they all collapsed into their chairs, cheering.

"Well," Malfoy said when he'd caught his breath, "I think we're ready for Sectionals!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I moved this story from the crossover section to the Glee section so that it will be easier to find, and also because although they are going to Hogwarts, the Glee characters will be the main focus. Also, FFnet was glitching so I had to delete the whole story and repost it :(**

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><p><em>June<em>

It was the first Saturday in June, and the students of McKinley were planning to spend the day going swimming, having parties, and kicking off the summer. It was the only time of year when Lima, Ohio felt as cool as regular places, and everyone was taking advantage of the fun atmosphere. Everyone, that was, except the New Directions. They were gathered in the choir room at seven in the morning, preparing to leave for their week long trip to Internationals. Though they were excited to travel halfway across the globe to perform with the best show choirs in the world—and stay at a school of magic, nonetheless—the early hour was getting to some of them.

"Did we really have to meet this freaking early?" Santana complained, holding a Starbucks cup in one hand. "I mean, Mr. Schue isn't even here yet."

"It makes sense," Finn reasoned. "I mean it takes, what, three hours to drive to London?" He looked over at Rachel expectantly, and Santana rolled her eyes. Ever since Rachel and Finn had gotten back together at Nationals, his passion for glee club had intensified to match hers. Finn was the first to demand that they start rehearsals on weekends, he offered to lead a committee of costume planning, and he had persuaded Mr. Schuester to extend their "Sober 'Till Nationals" campaign all the way to the end of the school year. Or, more accurately, to the end of Internationals. Needless to say, everyone was getting pretty sick of him. Except Rachel. She smiled in response to his idiotic statement and looked at him in a way that would have made Cupid himself want to vomit.

"I think you need to drive across the ocean to get to London, Finn," Brittany said, looking at Santana proudly. Santana gave her a nod and a smile that quickly faded when the blond girl turned away. Maybe Santana would be more likely to forgive Finn's behavior if her own love life was going better. But even though Brittany and Artie had been broken up for a month, she had still been unable to move her own relationship with Brittany past the 'friend zone.' If anything, she had moved backwards, since the sexual aspect of their relationship had tapered off considerably. And though nobody really knew what was going on, they all felt the ripples of Santana's anger. Between her, Finn, and Rachel, the New Directions could hardly stand to be around each other anymore, and everyone was happy that Internationals was finally upon them so that they could have the summer off.

"Sorry I'm late," Will said breathlessly as he charged into the choir room, wheeling his suitcase behind him. "I had to have a word with Mrs. Pillsbury."

"Gross," Tina muttered.

"But don't worry, though, we still have," he looked at his watch, "eight minutes before we leave."

"Mr. Schue," Rachel said, raising her hand and sitting on the edge of her seat. "How exactly are we getting to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Are we taking a plane?"

"Not exactly," Will said, and his face stretched into his usual, overexcited grin. "We're actually traveling by...wait for it...magic."

Brittany clapped happily. Everyone else just stared at Will in disbelief. "Um, is this some sort of joke?" Mercedes asked. "How the heck are we supposed to get there by magic when none of us know how to use it?"

"With this," Mr. Schuester replied, and he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a rusted teapot. "This was sent to me yesterday with instructions. _This_ is how we're getting to Internationals." He continued to look at them with that crazed smile. Nobody spoke.

"Is that Mr. Kidney's teapot?" Brittany asked finally. "Is there vodka in it?"

"If there was, I bet Mr. Schue drank it," Santana whispered, loudly enough for everyone to hear. Several people snickered, and Will frowned.

"You guys," he said. "I am really disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm right now. We're going to the biggest show choir competition in the entire world and you're sitting here acting tired and bored. What's going on?"

"I think the problem is that many of my teammates are intimidated by the magical abilities possessed by our competition," Rachel said. "Perhaps if you just read the instructions for traveling, it would clear things up a bit."

"Well, alright," Will said. He pulled an envelope out of his briefcase and opened it slowly. "Dear New Directions," he read. "To travel to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, you and your luggage must all be touching the portkey at exactly seven twenty on the morning of June 4, 2011." He stopped abruptly and turned the paper over, finding the other side to be blank. "Um, that's all it says."

"Man, this is whack," Puck said from the corner. "What the hell is a portkey?"

"I'm assuming it's that teapot," Tina said, pointing to where Will had placed it onto the piano.

"Well, it better be," Will said. "We only have four minutes left."

Everyone looked around at each other. Finally, Rachel stood and dragged her fluffy pink suitcase over to the teapot. She reached out and placed a finger on it's rough surface. "Well?" she asked impatiently. "What are you all waiting for?"

With a collective grumble, everyone stood and grabbed their things. Will pulled a stool from behind the drum set and placed the teapot on top of it so that it could be accessed from all sides. They stood around it, each reaching forward awkwardly so that they were all touching some part of it. With fourteen of them around the tiny thing, it was very cramped. "Brittany!" Rachel said sternly. "Stop touching me there."

"I'm sorry," Brittany whined. "But if I move then I'll be too close to Mr. Schue! I don't want to touch him, he's creepy."

"I can hear, Brittany," Will replied in exasperation. "And I'm not creepy."

"Yes you are," Quinn coughed.

"How much longer?" Tina asked. "I'm in a really uncomfortable position."

Will let go of his suitcase so that he could pull his watch to his watch to his eyes. "We have about...oh wait...two secon-" Before he could finish speaking, they all felt themselves being jerked forward. Someone screamed before blackness enveloped them. They all felt themselves being dragged roughly though nothingness, pulled forward by the one finger that was touching the portkey. Nobody could speak or breathe or even think; they all remained paralyzed in horror as they felt their bodies being squished by an impossibly strong force. As suddenly as the sensation began, it stopped, and everyone felt their faces being pushed into concrete as they finally settled on solid ground.

Puck was the first to roll over and stare at the afternoon sky above him. "What the _fuck _just happened?" he asked in disbelief.

Rachel pulled herself up. "Nevermind that, where are we?" she asked, looking around. "This doesn't look like a school." They were all lying on the platform of a train station, which Rachel realized once she caught sight of the large, red and black train in front of her. She walked over to it and ran her hand along it's shiny surface. It was an old train, a steam-powered one, very unlike the modern Metros that Rachel had ridden occasionally in Ohio. She went to the front of the engine and looked at it in wonder. On the front were the words 'Hogwarts Express.' "This must be how we're getting there," she announced, turning back to the group.

"Wait, you mean after that crazy time warp thing, we aren't _already_ there?" Mercedes grumbled. The rest of the kids had gotten to their feet and were dusting themselves off, rubbing their injured body parts ruefully.

Quinn pulled her phone out of her pocket. "My phone switched to London time, so we did go somewhere just now," she told them. "It's almost half past noon."

"No wonder I'm hungry for lunch," Finn said.

"Wait," Will began, looking around the platform at their scattered bags. "My suitcase!" His head swiveled around frantically. "I let go of it right before we left!"

"Our sheet music!" Rachel exclaimed. "Oh my God...maybe there's a way back...try grabbing the teapot again."

Will picked it up, but nothing happened. He shook it vigorously. "It's not working!" he said.

"What are we going to do?" Kurt moaned. "We need that music."

"Well, no, the music is in my briefcase," Will began, indicating the bag on his shoulder. "But my other stuff...my clothes...everything..."

"Wait, you have our music?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Will said.

"Well then we're okay." She began to walk down the length of the train. "We need to find a way to get inside, somehow."

"I can pick a lock," Puck suggested.

"Now wait, we shouldn't be breaking in," Quinn said, looking over at Will for support. However, he had wandered some distance away and was dialing a number on his phone. Rolling her eyes, she turned back to Rachel and Puck. "Just...wait. They obviously know we're here."

"Who's 'they' anyway?" Lauren asked. "This whole situation seems very suspicious to me. How do we know we haven't just been kidnapped? Who gave Mr. Schuester the teapot? Are we even going to the right place? These are questions that need answering!"

"I already told you, this is the Hogwarts Express," Rachel said in frustration. "We're at the right place." She looked over at the rest of the group who were still standing dazedly by their suitcases. "Come on, you guys, we need to figure out what to do."

Brittany and Santana made their way over to the train, Santana rubbing her head and frowning. "Has anyone actually tried to open the door?" Brittany asked.

Rachel's face lit up. "No," she said. "I'll try it." She walked over to the door to the first carriage and stepped hesitantly onto the metal stair. Then she placed her hand on the handle.

"Open it!" Kurt instructed. Rachel twisted the handle and pulled the door open. Then she let out a scream. Standing in the doorway was a tall man with long, white hair and a beard to match. He was wearing yellow glasses and a purple robe that reached all the way down to his feet. Rachel leaned back and lost her footing, and Finn dove forward to catch her. Safe in Finn's arms, she looked up at the man in horror.

"Oh, hello there," the man said, looking around at the platform. "I didn't realize you had arrived." He was still standing calmly in the doorway and seemed completely unaware of Rachel's shock. "Severus," he called out. "Our friends are here." Then he smiled at all of them. "I am Professor Dumbledore."

Rachel continued to gape, so Finn took the lead. "Uh, hi," he said, releasing Rachel. "I'm Finn Hudson, co-captain of New Directions." He reached out a hand, and Dumbledore stepped onto the platform and shook it.

"Welcome, Mr. Hudson," he said. His eyes trailed over to Will, who was yelling at someone in his phone. "Is that your teacher?"

"Yeah," Rachel said, coming to her senses. "He's, um, a little busy." She smoothed out her hair and stepped forward, shaking Dumbledore's hand. "I'm Rachel Berry, the other captain of the New Directions, and I would just like to say that this train is very beautiful." She smiled eagerly and Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel was determined to get a solo at Internationals and she had obviously decided that the way to do that was to suck up to all of the adults. But there was no point in being well-behaved when Mr. Schuester wasn't watching, and Kurt looked over to see that the other man was still yelling into his phone.

"Yes, Emma, I _am_ already in London," Will shouted. "No, I don't know how, I just am! So I can't exactly come home...well, I don't know." He looked up and spotted Professor Dumbledore. Shock registered on his face as he took in the man's eccentric appearance. "I have to go," he said into the phone. "No, don't worry about it, I'll call you later." He hung up and walked over. "Sorry about that," he said. "I'm Will Schuester, I'm in charge of the New Directions."

"Albus Dumbledore," Dumbledore responded kindly. "Welcome to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters!"

"Are you in charge of Crescendowls?" Will asked.

"No, I'm the headmaster of Hogwarts School," Dumbledore said. "Severus Snape is in charge, he should be here soon...Severus!" he called. "I think he popped off to the bathroom, I don't know how long he intends on staying there-"

An angry looking man suddenly appeared in the doorway, his greasy hair pressed around his sweating face. "I was _trying _to fix the air conditioner," he said. "And _she_ wasn't helping." He pointed down the corridor of the train, and a moment later, a crazy looking woman appeared in the doorway as well. "Students?" she asked in shock, looking around at everyone. "Why are there students here? Shouldn't they be at the castle?"

"Nevermind, Sybill," Dumbledore said. He turned back to Will. "This is Professor Snape, the Director of Music, and Professor Trelawny, the Divination teacher."

"I'm actually a teacher, too," Snape said in a drawling voice. "Glee club is just an extra-curricular activity." He looked angry that Dumbledore had overlooked his main accomplishments.

"Well," Will said, "It's a pleasure to meet both of you. Listen, I'm really sorry but I have a little bit of a problem. I seem to have left my suitcase behind."

Dumbledore paused thoughtfully. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it. We have everything you need at Hogwarts."

"I'm sure you do," Will said apologetically, "but I was hoping that maybe I could just, I don't know, pop back and get mine?"

"Let me get this straight," Snape said. "You want to 'pop back'...across the Pacific Ocean?"

"Well we sort of popped here!" Will said, beginning to feel frustrated. "I just thought that since you had a device that brought us here so quickly, you would have one that would take me back."

"My dear sir," Dumbledore said regretfully. "Portkeys cannot just be crafted on a whim. There are rules. The Ministry of Magic does not take kindly to unauthorized transport of Muggles..."

"Huh?" Will said blankly.

"I'm sure we can accommodate you with what we have at the school. In fact, I have several old robes that I was about to give away, you can keep them. They're in perfectly good condition. The only reason I want to get rid of them is because they are in pastel colors, and _Witch Weekly _informed me that those colors don't look good on men over one hundred."

Will was so confused that he became dizzy. "Okay..." he said blankly. "Um, sure."

"Splendid!" Dumbledore said with a clap of his hands. "Now, I think we should get everyone on the train. After all, it is quite hot out here, and it takes a long time to get to Hogwarts!"

Everyone dispersed and began to grab their bags. "Excuse me, sir," Rachel said. "If it takes a long time to get to Hogwarts, why couldn't we have traveled there by...um...portkey? Why did we have to come _here_ first?"

Dumbledore looked at Rachel with narrowed eyes. "Are you questioning me?" he asked.

Rachel gulped. "No."

"Oh good," Dumbledore said with a smile. He clapped his hands together. "As they say in America, let's bounce!" He stepped out of the way as the students began to enter the train.

"They don't really say that in America," Mike muttered to Tina. Tina just shrugged in response.

Once the kids got all of their suitcases onto the train, they began to spread out into various compartments. Will made to follow them, but Dumbledore held him back. "Why don't you sit with us, Professor?" he asked kindly. "It would be much more interesting for you than sitting with the students."

Will paused for a moment, unsure as to whether Dumbledore was talking to him or not. It was unsettling to be addressed as 'Professor.' "Alright," he said, following them to a compartment in the front. "I guess they always say you should know your enemy, right?" He smiled jokingly.

"The enemy?" Professor Trelawny looked around in alarm. "The enemy is here? Where?"

"No, no, Sybill, our new friend is only making a reference to the show choir competition," Dumbledore explained calmly. "Lord Voldemort is not among us."

Professor Trelawny began to shake visibly, and she grabbed onto Will's arm for support. "How dare you speak his name!" she shrieked. Then she went into the compartment and collapsed onto one of the seats. "I need a sherry," she murmured to herself.

"Uh, is she okay?" Will asked, sitting down across from her.

"She's fine," Snape snapped, sitting down as well. "She's always like this. Just ignore her."

"Okay." Will looked around at his companions. They all stared blankly back at him. "So," he began slowly. "Um...what's up?"


	3. Chapter 3

Mercedes and Sam had managed to get a compartment to themselves, and they were currently snuggled together on the seat by the window, kissing passionately. Sam had his hands in Mercedes's hair, which normally would have made her furious, but the fact that the gesture was being performed by her gorgeous new boyfriend made her feel giddy. It almost made her stop caring about the fact that someone was potentially messing with her weave.

Almost.

"Someone's going to notice we're gone," Mercedes said breathlessly.

"No they won't," Sam replied. "No one in the glee club every thinks about anyone but themselves."

Mercedes paused thoughtfully. "That's true." She leaned in to kiss Sam again, blushing as she did so. They had only had their first kiss a few weeks ago, right after Nationals, and since it had been her first kiss _ever_, she was still a little self-conscious. Especially since Sam's last two ex-girlfriends were Quinn and Santana, and there was no way she could ever compete with that. "How is it possible that you like me, again?" she murmured against his lips.

Sam pulled away. "Because you're beautiful," he responded immediately. Mercedes giggled but his face remained serious. "I'm not kidding," he said. "You're, like, one of the most amazing people I know. And the best singer I've ever heard in my life."

"Don't let Rachel hear you saying that," Mercedes warned.

"Whatever, I can probably take her," Sam said, rolling his eyes as he thought about the irritating diva. She had been making their lives miserable since Nationals and he would have no qualms about punching her in the face. "As soon as this competition is over, I'm going to end her."

"You sound like Santana, it's freaky," Mercedes replied, punching his arm lightly. "I guess she rubbed off on you."

"Ew," Sam said, sticking out his tongue. Then his expression became serious. "I was thinking. The time might have come for us to tell people about our relationship."

Mercedes grew nervous. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked.

"Sure it is," Sam said. "I mean, I know that you wanted to take it slow and make sure this was, like, real and all that. But I asked you to be my girlfriend a few days ago. So now it's official."

"Yeah, I know..." Mercedes said.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" Sam teased.

"Please, if anyone should be embarrassed, it's you," Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. Then she sighed. "Y'know, I've never been in a real relationship before. I don't exactly know what to do."

"Quinn was my first girlfriend," Sam admitted. "I'm barely any better at this than you are. It's okay, no one in glee is going to judge us."

"It's not only that," Mercedes said. "I'm, um, kinda scared of how Quinn and Santana will react. You know you dated the scariest girls in the whole school, right?"

"Believe me, I know," Sam said. "But they're not going to mess with you." He put his arm around her. "And I won't let them," he said with a grin.

"Ugh, don't be cheesy," Mercedes said, holding back a smile. "I'm just nervous. Like, they're so pretty and popular and everything and I just keep thinking that I'm not going to compare."

"Okay, first of all, I already told you that I think you're beautiful and I know that you know that," Sam said. "And secondly, they both cheated on me. Well, Santana just sort of left me for Karofsky, but you know what I mean. They're bad people. And you're the nicest girl I've ever met."

Mercedes took a deep breath. "Fine," she said. "We'll tell them. But not today. Once we get settled in at Hogwarts."

"Alright. I'm holding you to that," Sam said, looking satisfied. He rested his head on Mercedes's shoulder.

"You really think I'm going to be better than them?" Mercedes asked, referring to Quinn and Santana.

"You already are," Sam replied.

* * *

><p>In the teachers' compartment, things were distinctly awkward. Will had tried to make some small talk about glee club with Professor Snape, but Snape seemed thoroughly disinterested and Will quickly gave up. He tried to think of something to say to Dumbledore, but he drew a blank, and it was especially awkward since the old man kept examining him curiously and Will kept trying to avoid making eye contact with him. He didn't even attempt to engage Professor Trelawny in any conversation. She spent half her time looking around dazedly and the other half muttering quickly to herself. Will tapped his feet anxiously and struggled to think of a way to pass the time.<p>

"So thanks for coming down to greet us," he said after a moment. "I know it's pretty out of the way."

"It's no problem whatsoever," Dumbledore said with a smile. "It's a Saturday after all, and though I usually spend my day doing sun salutations on the Astronomy Tower, I thought that this would be a far more interesting use of my time. And Severus never has anything to do on Saturdays, isn't that right?"

Professor Snape looked up with a grunt. "I was actually preparing to catalogue my new ingredients," he said in an irritated voice. "I just got forty shipments of newt's eye and twenty of cow testicle. They're all mixed together and none of it is labeled, and if I don't have the labels done by Monday, my students could end of making a Draught of Instant Coma instead of a Laughing Potion. But I guess these are the chances we have to take in order to perform useless errands, right?"

Dumbledore laughed heartily. "Well, that's what Sunday is for, old chap!" he said, slapping Snape on the back. "Snape is something of a court jester in Hogwarts," he announced to Will. "Always making people laugh."

"How...interesting," Will said warily as Snape gave him a death glare. "Um, newt's eye, that's a strange item to have in a classroom. What do you teach?"

"Potions," Snape said shortly.

"Ah," Will said. He wanted to inquire further, but he was too scared. So instead he turned to Professor Trelawny. "Are you affiliated with the glee club as well?"

"What?" Trelawny looked surprised that she was being spoken to. "Oh, no. I was just running some errands in the city and the Hogwarts Express came to pick me up."

"Oh," Will replied.

"Wait, really?" Snape asked. "Why did you come all the way to London just to run some errands?"

"Now, Snape, don't be so judgmental," Dumbledore said disapprovingly. "I come into London every few weeks to get some items as well. Did you know that they don't sell Charmin in Hogsmeade? They only sell the generic brands of toilet paper. And I'm very prone to rashes, so this presents quite a problem for me." He winked at Will. "You know what I mean?"

"Um, I suppose," Will replied uncomfortably.

"What items were you picking up, Sybill?" Dumbledore asked.

Trelawny looked affronted. "That's a rather personal question," she said. "But if you must know, I have recently been stocking up on items to prepare for the war."

Will was shocked. "War?" he asked. "What war? I haven't heard anything about it."

"Well you wouldn't, would you?" Snape said. "After all, it's a wizarding war."

"But is it, like, safe here?" Will asked, still feeling uneasy. "For us, I mean."

"Well certainly it is safe!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "We have not yet entered battle. The Dark Lord Voldemort is gathering followers, to be sure, and people go missing every once in a while, but really, we are safe as can be. Especially at Hogwarts."

"I hope you're right," Will said quietly.

"Believe me, the last thing the Dark Lord would be interested in is a show choir competition," Snape said. "He won't even get near us."

"I guess there would be no point in targeting a glee club from Ohio," Will agreed with a nervous laugh. "It was silly of me to be concerned."

"Yes," Trelawny said quietly to herself. "The only thing _you_ have to worry about is getting caught in the crossfire..."

* * *

><p>"I think we should do some vocal warmups to pass the time," Rachel announced to the people in her compartment. "After all, this journey is supposed to take all day."<p>

"That sounds like a good idea," Finn said. "I have the piano app on my iPod touch."

"No, no, no," Puck said firmly. He was lying across three seats with his head in Lauren's lap and his arm over his eyes. "I want to sleep and I'm going to. So you better keep the volume down."

Rachel looked over at Artie, the only other person in the compartment with them. "You guys, this is important!" she said. "We need to be at our best for the competition."

Artie just looked sullenly back at her. "Have you seen Brittany?" he asked. "Can you go see what she's doing?"

"Dude," Puck said, sitting up. "You need to get over her. She's not interested and it's making you look pathetic."

"You might be able to get her back," Finn offered kindly. "But you need to start acting like you don't care. She obviously thinks you're being needy."

"Maybe you should sing to her again," Puck suggested. "Only this time, not a song about a freaking baby."

"Okay, can we focus again, please?" Rachel demanded. "Internationals is only a week away-"

"Dammit, I can't listen to this anymore!" Puck said, getting up from his seat. "I'm leaving."

"Yeah, same," Lauren said apologetically. "Sorry, Rachel. You're just too lame." Puck pulled open the door to the compartment and he and Lauren walked out. Artie wheeled himself after them.

"Why does everyone hate me?" Rachel whined.

"Because you're controlling and bossy and loud," Finn said. Rachel glared at him. "What? You asked."

"You're a dumbass," Rachel responded.

Lauren, Puck, and Artie went across the corridor to another compartment. They pulled open the door to find Quinn and Kurt inside. "Hey," Puck said. "We needed to get away from Berry. What's up?"

Quinn shrugged, putting down the book she was reading. Kurt was smiling and texting and ignored Puck completely. "We're bored," Quinn said.

"Yeah, well, so are we," Lauren said, sitting down next to Quinn. "How long is this train ride supposed to take again?"

"Um, about a million years, I think," Artie replied. "But that's just an estimate."

Kurt giggled and put his phone away. Then he looked up at Artie, Lauren, and Puck in surprise. "Oh, hey guys."

"What were you doing?" Puck asked with narrowed eyes. Kurt blushed.

"Texting Blaine," he said. "Anyway, why are you here?"

"Because Rachel won't shut the hell up," Puck replied. "She wants us to practice."

"Whatever, she can practice with Finn," Quinn said venomously. It was clear that she was not over her breakup, if the fact that she had tried to poison Rachel three days ago was any indication. Wisely, everyone decided not to respond to her.

"Where are Brittany and Santana?" Artie asked instead. His tone was nonchalant, but everyone knew why he was asking. Quinn shrugged.

"They left about five minutes ago, I don't know where they went," she said.

"Well, they can't have gone very far," Artie pointed out. "I think I'm going to go look for Brittany."

"Don't!" Quinn said quickly. Everyone turned to look at her. "Um, I just think you should leave her alone. I mean, things are still weird between you two, right?"

"I guess," Artie replied, looking at Quinn suspiciously. He had a feeling that something was going on between Santana and Brittany, and Quinn had basically just confirmed it. He slumped down in his chair and looked out the window at the sky, which was gray even though it was almost summer. "I already hate this trip," he muttered.

"We need to think of something to do," Lauren announced. "To make this trip more fun for Artie." She looked at him sympathetically.

"We should try to put Rachel on the roof," Puck suggested.

"We should irritate the teachers," Kurt said.

"We should murder Santana," Artie added.

"Well," Lauren said thoughtfully. "I guess we could do all of those things."

"No, you know what we should do?" Puck said. He leaned in dramatically. "We should play Truth or Dare!"

"Yes!" Lauren said. "Definitely."

Kurt shrugged. "I guess that could be fun."

"Anything's better than this," Artie said.

"Good, then let's play!" Puck said. Quinn groaned and tried to hide behind her book. "You too, baby mama," he said.

"I had Beth over a year ago, don't you think it's time for you to stop calling me that?" she asked angrily. "And no, I will not play Truth or Dare, it's a childish game."

"Fine," Puck replied angrily. "Artie, truth or dare."

"Um, dare," Artie said.

"I dare you to touch Quinn's boobs," he said.

"Puck!" Quinn exclaimed. "Don't dare him to do something to _me_. I'm right here and I know it's a dare. It's not fun."

Puck shrugged. "If you're not going to play, then we're going to use you in our dares," he said. "That's the way it goes."

"Thems the rules," Lauren said with a nod.

Quinn groaned. "Fine, I'll play," she said, giving Puck her most dangerous glare. "But anything involving Finn is in really bad taste and I'll refuse to do it."

"Oh, don't worry," Puck said. He and Lauren looked at each other mischievously. "I'm sure we can think of several things for you to do that don't involve Finn."

"Oh, God," Quinn said. "I already regret this."

* * *

><p>"I love this show," Brittany said, holding Santana's iPod in the palm of her hand. They had gone to their own compartment so they wouldn't disturb Quinn while she was reading, and were now watching an old episode of <em>Spongebob<em>. Santana had downloaded it because she knew it was one of Brittany's favorites. "I wonder if Patrick and Spongebob will finally get together next season."

"Yeah," Santana said, not really paying attention. Since the screen was small, Brittany was pressed right up against her side so that they could both see. Every time Brittany laughed, Santana felt Brittany's body shake and it sent a tremor down her spine. Needless to say, she was having trouble concentrating. She had to resist the urge to lay her head down on her friend's shoulder, knowing that such a gesture would have a different meaning since she had confessed her feelings. So she tried to force herself to focus on the show and not on the way that Brittany's leg kept bumping against hers or the way that the smell of Brittany's shampoo kept wafting through the air.

"Santana," Brittany said after a few minutes. "What's the Mile-High Club?"

Santana was taken aback. "Um, what?"

"The Mile-High Club," Brittany repeated. She pressed pause on the iPod and pulled the headphone our of her ear. "I told my cousin that I was going to London and he said that I should join the Mile-High Club on the way over there."

"Oh," Santana said awkwardly. "It's when you, like, hook up in the bathroom of a plane."

Brittany frowned. "Why is it called that, then?"

"Because you're a mile high," Santana replied. "Well, more than a mile, actually. Because you have to do it while the plane is moving."

"Are you in the club?"

Santana shook her head. "No, Britt, no. I've only flown with my family before. Except for when we went to New York for Nationals."

"Right," Brittany said with a nod. Then she pouted. "I missed my chance."

"Why do you want to be in it, anyway?" Santana said. "It's not like a regular club where they have meetings and food and stuff. It's like a fake club."

"Like the Gay-Straight Alliance?" Brittany asked.

Santana furrowed her brow. "No..." she said. "The GSA is a real club."

"But you told me it was fake when I wanted us to join it," Brittany said.

Santana thought back to _that_ awkward conversation, which they'd had in tenth grade right after they'd started hooking up. She shook her head in disbelief. "You have a freaking good memory, you know that?" she said.

Brittany nodded happily. "I know." She looked back at the screen of the iPod and laughed. "Squidward's nose looks like a guy's thingy," she said.

Santana giggled. "You say that every time," she pointed out. "Do you ever think about anything besides sex?"

Brittany shook her head. "Not really. That's why I wanted to be in the Mile-High Club. I mean, I already kissed almost everyone in the school. If there's a club about sex, I should totally be in it."

Suddenly, Santana had an idea. It was a dirty idea, and it made her feel bad even to think about it. But it also made her skin start to tingle and her heart start to beat really fast. Santana bit her lip to try to force the words to stay in her mouth, but she was so in love with Brittany that they tumbled out anyway. "You can also join the Mile-High Club in a train," she practically word-vomited.

"What?" Brittany asked, and for a moment Santana hoped that Brittany hadn't heard her. But then Brittany continued. "You mean if we hook up in the bathroom of this train, we can be in the club?"

Santana shrugged and looked at the floor. "I guess," she said, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"We should totally do it," Brittany said excitedly, pressing pause on the iPod. "If you want to," she added.

Santana knew it was wrong, but as she looked into Brittany's eyes, she forgot all reason. "I want to," she breathed.

Brittany grabbed her hand. "Then let's go," she said with a grin.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: **If anyone has any dares that they want Quinn, Artie, Puck, Lauren, or Kurt to do, review and let me know! If I use it, I'll credit you at the end of the chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

"Artie will go first," Lauren said. "So he can stop moping. Make it something good."

Artie looked around at his friends. "Alright," he said. "Um, Puck. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Puck replied easily. "You know I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Artie raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, anything," Puck said.

"Alright." Artie smiled. "I dare you to go into the teacher's compartment and hit on that hippie teacher lady." Kurt and Quinn both looked at Puck with wide eyes. Puck glanced over at Lauren.

"I can't," he said, turning back to Artie with an apologetic shrug. "I have a girlfriend."

"Doesn't matter, it's a dare," Artie replied quickly.

"He's right, you have to do it," Lauren said. She looked amused. "Rules are rules."

"Are you scared?" Quinn teased. "Come on, do it!"

Puck glared at Quinn. "You should watch yourself, Fabray. I might dare you next."

Quinn face faltered slightly but she crossed her arms in front of her and tried to keep a neutral face. "You won't get to dare me if you chicken out."

"Alright, alright!" Puck exclaimed. He got up to exit the compartment. "But if this gets weird, it's on you guys."

"Well," Kurt said. "It's definitely going to get weird."

* * *

><p>In the teacher's compartment, everyone had settled into a comfortable silence. But this only made Professor Trelawny more nervous. She normally went into London on Saturdays without incident, but never before had she come back to the train to encounter a large group of American Muggles chaperoned by an overzealous Broadway wannabe. Professor Dumbledore swore he had told her that they were coming, but she had no memory of such a conversation, and she was anxious to find herself surrounded by so many unfamiliar people. The Dark Lord could have spies anywhere, and she wished that she could have persuaded Dumbledore to investigate them a little more closely.<p>

The door to the compartment slid open and a tall boy with a mohawk walked in. Trelawny shrank back in her seat. This boy in particular had aroused her suspicions when she had first seen him—she had immediately noticed the mischievous glint in his eye and the investigative look he had given the train while they were boarding. Trelawny reached into her pocket and grasped the clove of garlic that she had hidden there. She doubted he was a vampire, but it never hurt to be safe.

"Puck," Will said. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I don't feel well, Mr. Schue," the boy replied. His eyes trailed around the compartment and settled on Trelawny. "Can I sit in here for a few minutes?"

"Sure." Will moved over to allow Puck to sit next to him, but to Trelawny's horror, Puck came and took a seat next to her instead. When Will looked down at his book, Puck leaned in towards Trelawny's ear.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hello," Trelawny whispered back, looking fixedly out the window. _Don't show fear_, she thought to herself.

Puck glanced around the compartment to make sure nobody else was watching them before continuing. "I saw the way you were looking at me earlier," he said suggestively.

Trelawny's heart dropped. So he knew she suspected him. What would he do? Kill her, probably. She had to continue to hide her fear. "So what?" she hissed. "I am at liberty to check out anyone who interests me."

"Well good," Puck replied. Trelawny gasped as she felt his hand come to rest on her thigh. "Because I'm interested in you, too."

Trelawny looked to Snape and Dumbledore in alarm, but they were still immersed in their books. She couldn't believe a Death Eater would try and kill her _here_ in front of everyone, but that seemed to be exactly what this Puck boy was about to do. With a horrible shock, she realized that he must have cast the Imperius Curse on the rest of the teachers while they weren't looking. "You won't get me," she said, her voice shaking. "I won't go down without a fight."

"Just the way I like them," Puck replied with a grin. "How about you and I go to a compartment of our own and continue this conversation away from prying eyes?"

"No!" Trelawny stood quickly and Puck leaned away in shock. Snape, Dumbledore, and Will all looked up at her. "Get away from me!" she cried. "I am on the side of Harry Potter! The Boy who Lived! I shall not betray him."

"Sybill," Dumbledore said, his eyes wide. "What is going on?"

"A servant of the Dark Lord is among us!" she said, pointing at Puck with a shaking finger. "He tried to kill me."

"Um, I think I feel better now, Mr. Schue," Puck said, looking alarmed. "I'm gonna go back to my compartment."

"Alright." Will looked from Trelawny to Puck in confusion, and with a little bit of suspicion. "That's probably a good idea."

Puck yanked open the door to the compartment and found Quinn and Lauren standing on the other side of it. Kurt and Artie were standing a little ways back. "What happened?" Quinn asked.

Puck pulled the door shut and led them back to their own compartment. "I have no idea!" he said. "She was definitely flirting back and then all of a sudden it was like, bam, crazy lady!"

Lauren began to laugh. "Are you sure you were reading the situation right? Maybe she wasn't flirting back at all."

"Maybe she was so excited by your advances that she went insane," Artie suggested, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"You guys," Puck said. "It's not funny. She told them I was trying to kill her. I don't want them to think I'm like, some kind of murderer or something. Or a rapist."

"Maybe you are," Quinn said, giggling.

"Shut up, Quinn," Puck said. He turned to Lauren. "You need to go in there and make a scene so that they stop thinking about me."

"No," Lauren replied. "This was your dare, you have to live with the consequences."

"Fine," Puck said. "Then I _dare_ you to go in there and make a scene."

Lauren looked at Puck, her face unyielding. "This is how you want to use your turn?"

"Yes," Puck said evenly. "You have to do it. You can't chicken out."

Lauren glared at him. "Fine," she said. She went back into the corridor and walked over to the window of the teacher's compartment. The four professors were inside, still trying to console Trelawny, who was wide-eyes and looking crazy. She glanced back at her friends.

"Do it," Puck mouthed. Lauren sighed and pulled the door open. The teachers looked up at her in surprise. She took a deep breath. "Code red!" she yelled. "We have a breach! Intruder on the train! Code red, code red!"

"Lauren, what are you doing?" Will asked, his eyes wide. Dumbledore, however, sprang immediately to action.

"Spies from the Dark Lord are among us!" he said in a booming voice. "Man your positions. This is not a drill." Lauren watched in shock as he pulled a long stick from out of his robes.

"Headmaster," Snape said, still seated and looking bored, "I really see no cause for alarm. This student is not reporting one of You-Know-Who's spies. She is a Muggle! No doubt this is the result of a Befuddlement Charm gone wrong."

"We can't afford to take any chances!" Dumbledore exclaimed. From the other end of the compartment, there was a loud squeak. Professor Trelawny sprang from her seat.

"No chances!" she yelled. "The Dark Lord will strike tonight! I see it with the Inner Eye!" She charged towards the door and Lauren barely stepped out of the way before the mad woman came careening into the corridor. She looked through her large glasses at everyone's bewildered faces. "We must find the spy before he escapes!" she shrieked.

Lauren glared over at Puck, who looked torn between amusement and horror. "This is your fault," she hissed.

"How was I supposed to know they're _all_ paranoid?" Puck whispered back. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps came from the end of the train, near the conductor's compartment. Everyone froze. Despite the fact that the kids knew there had been no truth to Lauren's exclamation, they began to feel nervous. Dumbledore slowly pointed his wand at the conductor's door. The footsteps became louder and louder until the door began to open. Suddenly, Finn's face appeared on the other side. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him and looked at his audience curiously.

"Well," Dumbledore said, stowing his wand in his pocket. "It would appear as though we have had a false ala—Sybill, what are you doing?" He looked down in alarm as Trelawny elbowed her way through the crowd of people. Once she reached the front of the group, she began sprinting down the corridor. Finn barely had time to register what was happening before she bumped into him so forcefully that he toppled over onto the ground.

"You!" She pinned his arms to the ground and sat on his legs. "What did you hear? What information are you planning to deliver to your Lord? Tell us!" She slapped him in the face.

"What are you _talking_ about? I was just asking how long the journey would be." Finn yelled. "Ow! Get off!"

"Sybill!" Dumbledore said. "Release that student immediately!"

"He's not a student! He's a spy!" Trelawny said. She looked back at Finn. "I have Ministry approval to use an Unforgivable Curse if I have to," she warned him.

"Come on Finn, it's just an old bag lady!" Puck called out between peals of laughter. "Just push her off!" From down the corridor, Sam and Mercedes emerged from their compartment, searching wildly for the source of the commotion.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. "Why is Finn getting beat up by an old lady?"

Mercedes cackled and pulled out her camera. "I'm so making a YouTube video out of this," she said.

Even Mr. Schuester was enjoying the show too much to help Finn, so Dumbldore had to pull Trelawny off single-handedly. "She's freaking strong!" Finn exclaimed as he lay helplessly on the floor. Trelawny was reluctant to let Finn go, and it wasn't until Rachel came running down the corridor screeching about how she had two dads and could easily make this whole incident look like a homophobic attack that Trelawny finally calmed down. As Rachel and Dumbledore tried to explain that Finn was not a Death Eater, everyone else went back into their compartments, chuckling.

"Well, that was successful," Artie said.

"I think Mr. Schue knows we were trying to cause trouble, though," Lauren said. "He glared at me as he left."

"Who cares, that was freaking hilarious," Puck said. "I think it was worth it. Mercedes better get me a copy of that video."

"Oh, this is going to be the topic of dinnertime discussion for a long time," Kurt said, still chuckling and wiping his eyes. "Our parents are going to tease Finn mercilessly."

"Alright," Lauren said when they had calmed down. "My turn." She looked around the room. "How about Lucy?"

"Don't call me that," Quinn snapped. She looked around as everyone watched her expectantly. She had clearly been hoping that they would forget she was playing. "Fine," she said. "Dare."

"Brave move," Lauren said with a nod.

"Got some secrets that you don't want anyone to know about, Quinn?" Artie asked. Quinn didn't answer.

"Whatever, dare is more fun," Lauren said. She paused thoughtfully. "Hm. What would be a good dare for Quinn?" she asked herself.

Puck got a mischievous look in his eye. He leaned over and whispered into Lauren's ear. Lauren's face lit up. "Hey, no fair," Quinn said. "You can't get help."

"Fine, I won't give you Puck's dare," Lauren said. Then she grinned. "I dare you to kiss Rachel."

"What?" Quinn said in alarm. "That was definitely Puck's dare!"

"No it wasn't," Puck said. "I told her to dare you to _make out_ with Rachel."

"Same thing!" Quinn said angrily.

"Believe me, concerning Rachel Berry, it's not the same thing," Artie said. "You're going to be very thankful that you didn't have to go for tongue."

"Hey, watch it," Puck said. "Rachel's a good kisser. And a sexy Jew, so don't hate."

"_You_ better watch it, Puckerman," Lauren said with a glare. Puck immediately shrank back in his seat.

"She's nothing compared to you, though," Puck clarified.

"Okay, as fascinating as it is to observe how whipped Puck really is, we have a dare to get to," Kurt said in a bored voice. "Quinn, the fates have spoken. Kiss her."

"This is completely unfair," Quinn said, her arms crossed. "My _enemy_, Lauren. Come on, I'd rather kiss anyone else."

"Yeah right," Puck coughed.

Lauren thought for a moment. "No, still Rachel," she said. "No one else would be as entertaining."

"Okay, look," Quinn pleaded, "I can't just go in and kiss her in front of Finn. I thought we agreed no Finn-related dares."

"We'll get her alone, then," Puck said.

"She's going to go back and tell Finn about it, though," Quinn said. "He's going to think that I'm trying to make him jealous and then there's going to be drama and we don't want that right before Internationals."

"Don't give us that crap," Kurt said. "We know you don't care about Internationals. And I love Finn like a real brother, but even I know that he doesn't have the mental capacity to think that you're trying to make him jealous."

"Come _on_, Quinn, you're wasting time," Lauren said. "You're not supposed to back down from a dare. If you do, you'll be ridiculed forever."

Artie had wheeled over to the compartment door and was watching the corridor. "You guys," he whispered excitedly. "Rachel's going towards the bathroom. She's alone."

Quinn rolled her eyes as Lauren clapped. "Now's your chance. Go!"

"What do I say?" Quinn asked uncomfortably. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

"You don't need to say anything, just waltz up and kiss her and be done with it," Artie said.

Quinn stood from her seat. Her hands were shaking. "I can't believe I'm actually doing this," she muttered.

"Chill out, it's just a dare," Puck groaned. "I once had to make out with Finn on a dare. If I can do that, you can definitely do this."

Quinn looked at Puck with her eyebrows raised. "Wait, what?" she asked. "Was he dating me at the time?"

"He just said he made out with Finn and all you care about is if Finn was cheating on you?" Kurt asked in disbelief. "Come on, Puck. Details."

"Story for another time," Puck said, waving Quinn away. Quinn bit her lip and walked into the corridor. Rachel was standing at the end of the train, leaning against one of the compartment doors. Trying to ignore the eyes on her back, she walked towards Rachel as purposefully as she could. As she drew closer, Rachel stepped forward and banged on the bathroom door.

"I know what you guys are doing!" she said loudly. "And now Quinn is here, too, so your privacy is compromised."

Quinn closed the final steps between them and looked at the door curiously as a giggle emerged from it, followed by Santana's voice. "What are you talking about, Berry? I'm the only one in here!"

"Yeah, she's the only one!" Brittany said. They could hear furious shushing from within the bathroom. Brittany's whisper of "Sorry!" carried easily through the door, and Rachel rolled her eyes at Quinn.

"And they think they're being subtle," she said.

"Y-yeah," Quinn stuttered. Normally, she would have a lot to say on the topic of Times Brittany and Santana Thought They Were Being Subtle, but her brain wasn't really functioning right now.

"There's another bathroom in the other car, we should probably just go over there," Rachel said, pointing at the door that led to the empty train car behind theirs. "I don't know if I want to go in here after they've defiled it, anyway."

"Yeah," Quinn said again. Rachel raised an eyebrow at her.

"You coming?"

Quinn stared at her for another moment. Then stepped forward and leaned down, quickly pressing her lips to Rachel's. Rachel stepped back in shock. "Quinn!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

Quinn's head was reeling as she struggled for something to say. "What the hell, Berry?" she managed finally. "Why did you kiss me?"

"What?" Rachel looked completely taken aback. "You just kissed _me_."

Quinn bit her lip. "Did you like it?" she asked quietly.

Rachel looked at Quinn as though she were mentally unstable. "Um, what?"

"Don't do that again!" Quinn said, catching herself. "I'm not into you like that!"

"I never said you were!" Rachel replied. "Quinn, what's going on with you?"

"I can't believe you would cheat on Finn!" she exclaimed. She heard all noise stop from within the bathroom and knew that Brittany and Santana probably had their ears pressed against the door. "You're disgusting!" she said loudly.

Rachel looked hurt. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you, Quinn, but I can assure you that I would never cheat on Finn _or _kiss you willingly. I'm not into you 'like that' either."

Quinn frowned and she stepped close to Rachel. "Don't lie to me," she said. "I know you feel it too. Kiss me again."

Rachel's brow furrowed and she stepped away in alarm. "Quinn, I'm not going to kiss you."

"Well good because I don't want to kiss you either!" Quinn replied. Then she whirled around and began to storm back down the corridor to where her friends were looking at her in complete bewilderment. "Don't talk to me," she said angrily, pushing her way into the compartment.

"Okay, was it just me, or was that super weird?" Artie asked as Puck pulled the compartment door shut.

"It looks like you have a few issues, Quinn," Kurt muttered.

"Hello, it's called _acting_," Quinn said, sitting down in her seat. "You guys gave me such a stupid dare and I had to do something to make it interesting."

"But you didn't think it was so stupid a few minutes ago," Puck pointed out. Quinn glared at him. "You're right," he said quickly. "Excellent creative decision."

"My turn," Quinn said quickly, eager to move the attention elsewhere. "Uh, Kurt," she blurted out. "Truth or dare?"

Kurt sighed. "In the interest of keeping things exciting, I'll choose dare."

Quinn thought for a long moment. Then she smiled, a hint of evil in her eyes. Kurt gulped. "You still have your phone, right?" she asked.

"Yes," Kurt replied slowly.

"Perfect. Why don't you give Blaine a call?"

Kurt slid his iPhone slowly out of his pocket. "I have a bad feeling about this," he said.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

**-Puck's dare was suggested by NotCloudNine**

**-Quinn's dare was suggested by both GleekGirl and QueenOfLesFrogs**

**Just a heads up, this story will be Finchel, not Faberry. Their scene was mostly for comedic value, although if you want to believe that Quinn is secretly in love with Rachel, I certainly won't contradict that... :D I hope everyone is enjoying the story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey, I just wanted to give a little warning: the events of this chapter get a teensy bit M. It's not super suggestive, and it's all in the name of humor, but if you are opposed to Klaine sexytimes, you should skip to a few lines before the page** **break. Of course, I know most of you will love it, but I just wanted to say something because this story is listed as T.**

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><p>Kurt couldn't believe that he was calling his boyfriend of less than three months, with his phone on speaker, about to make a sexy call in front of four of his friends. "You guys," he said as his phone rang. "I don't think I should do this."<p>

"Quiet!" Puck hissed. "He's going to pick up soon."

"You'll be fine," Quinn started to say as the ringing suddenly stopped. Blaine's voice came through the speaker and Kurt felt his heart begin to pound.

"_Hey,_" Blaine said.

"Hi." Kurt repressed a smile. He and Blaine were entering the stage of their relationship where they were completely comfortable with one another, and Kurt loved the familiarity of Blaine's greeting. But he couldn't focus on that now, he had a job to do. "Um, what are you doing right now?"

"_Nothing, really_. _I just woke up._"

"Did I wake you?" Kurt asked with concern. Next to him, Artie shook his head. Puck looked exasperated.

"_Kind of, but it's okay_." There was a pause. "_I love hearing your voice in the morning._"

Kurt looked uncertainly at Quinn, who gave him an encouraging nod. "Same," Kurt replied. "I...I like thinking about you in bed. Before you get dressed."

Blaine's light laugh echoed throughout the compartment and Kurt's breathing became shallow. "_Is the Warbler's uniform not doing it for you anymore?_"

"No, it's still very...sexy," Kurt said quickly. "But sometimes I like to imagine you wearing...a little less." He blushed deeply, but Puck was now looking approving, so he plowed on. "What _are _you wearing?"

"_Hm_." Blaine sounded like he was taken aback by Kurt's uncharacteristic demeanor, and Kurt wondered if Blaine would play along or demand an explanation. But clearly, Blaine was somewhat intrigued by this new side of Kurt. "_Well if you really want to know, I'm wearing light blue boxers._"

Kurt swallowed. "A shirt?"

"_Nope_."

"Uh, awesome." Kurt looked at his friends for help, not sure what to say. To his surprise, Lauren was scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. After a few seconds, she held it up to Kurt's eyes. "What would you want to do to me?" he read uncertainly.

"_What?_"

Kurt cleared his throat. "If I was there right now, what would you be doing to me?"

There was a long silence, during which Kurt glared furiously at Quinn. Finally, Blaine's voice came back. "_Are you trying to have phone sex with me?_"

"Maybe," Kurt replied, biting his lip.

"_Uh, okay_." Blaine laughed. "_Well, I guess I would pull you onto the bed next to me and...start kissing you._"

"Uh huh," Kurt replied, unconsciously leaning closer to the phone. "And then?"

"_You would start to climb on top of me and I would wrap my arms around your waist._" Kurt was surprised at how easily the words were coming out of Blaine's mouth. Clearly, this was an aspect of their relationship that Blaine was more than ready to explore. That, or he had done this before, but Kurt didn't necessarily want to contemplate that.

Artie nudged Kurt's arm and gave him an expectant look, and Kurt looked awkwardly down at his phone. "I would...I would kiss you harder. I would run my teeth along your lip."

"_That's hot_." Blaine's breathing sounded like it was becoming slightly labored. "_Then what?_"

The change in Blaine's tone was exciting, and Kurt began to forget that their conversation had an audience. "I would pull off my shirt and throw it onto the floor. Then I would kiss you again, tugging at your hair. And you would run your hands up and down my bare chest." Blaine began to speak, but Kurt cut him off. He was in the zone and he wasn't going to stop. "You would reach down to unbutton my pants and start to pull them off. And you would be moving unbearably slowly and I would start to yell at you to hurry up but you would completely ignore me."

"_Yeah I would. And then?_"

"And then you would finally get them all the way off, and you would throw them onto the floor with the rest of my clothes. You would flip me over roughly so that you were on top and then you would straddle my waist. And we would lock eyes as you started to move against-"

"Kurt!" Kurt looked up in surprise at the sound of his name being called. When he saw Mr. Schuester standing in the doorway, looking at him uncomfortably, his heart dropped abruptly into his stomach. He grabbed his phone and quickly silenced the speaker, looking around the room sheepishly. Artie, Quinn, and Lauren were staring at him with their mouths wide open. Puck looked like he was trying to contain his laughter.

"M-Mr. Schue," Kurt stuttered, his face burning. "I was just...um...making a personal call."

"I heard," Will replied. He looked as embarrassed as Kurt did, if not more so. "I was just checking in to make sure everyone was doing okay."

"We're fine," Kurt said in a small voice. From his phone, he could hear Blaine anxiously calling his name. As discreetly as he could, he pressed his thumb against the screen to end the call.

"Well, I'm glad everything is...acceptable." Will cleared his throat. "I'll go check on the next compartment now."

"Bye Mr. Schue," Puck called cheerfully as their teacher exited the compartment. Once the door closed, he looked at Kurt with a devilish grin. "That was tight," he said.

Kurt put his face in his hands and moaned, "That was horrible."

"You seemed like you were enjoying it," Lauren pointed out.

"Yeah, you're welcome," said Quinn. Kurt just shook his head, still hiding behind his hands. "You know, you can always call him back and finish."

"No!" Kurt said immediately. "I—this dare is over."

"Fine," Puck said. "Then it's your turn to dare someone. And Artie is the only person left."

Kurt lifted his head. He seemed torn between wallowing in embarrassment and continuing the game. After looking at everyone's eager faces, however, he sighed. "Okay. Artie, do you want a dare? I doubt anything could live up to what I just did, but you know..."

"Come at me," Artie said with a grin. "Dare all the way."

"Okay." Kurt paused thoughtfully. After several moments, he began to smile. "You know the beardy guy, Dumbledore?"

"Uh, yeah," Artie said apprehensively.

"I dare you to serenade him."

Puck started to laugh. "Yes!" he said. "You _have_ to sing to him. It'll be so hilarious."

Artie looked uncertain. "What should I sing?" he asked.

"_Endless Love,_" Quinn suggested immediately. "It'll be hilarious."

"Oh my God, yes," Puck said. "Please. I will die."

Artie hesitated for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Fine," he said with a smile. "I'll do it."

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><p>Mike and Tina were sitting in their compartment talking when there was a knock at their door. They looked at each other questioningly. "Uh, come in," Mike called out. The door slid open to reveal an old woman hunched over a trolley that was filled with snacks.<p>

"Would you care for anything from the trolley?" she asked in kind voice.

"Sure," Mike said eagerly, his stomach growling. He looked over at Tina. "You want anything?"

"Yeah, totally," she said. They walked over to the trolley and looked at everything in awe. "What are these?" Tina asked, pointing.

"Cauldron cakes," the woman replied. "A personal favorite of mine."

"Let's get some of those," Tina said.

Mike picked up a package. "Chocolate frogs," he read. "Yum. We'll have a couple of these, too."

"It all looks so good," Tina exclaimed.

"We'll just have two of everything," Mike said to the woman. He pulled out his wallet. "How much?"

"Let's see..." the woman said. She reached into her robes and pulled out a paper that read 'Conversion Chart.' "Five galleons," she muttered. "Plus two more...and sickle. Some knuts. And some nuts. Did they get nuts? Three knuts for a nut. Okay." She looked up at the two of them. "Fourteen greens and sixty-three bronzes."

Mike looked at her in confusion. "Huh?"

"Fourteen dollars and sixty-three cents," Tina whispered.

"Oh." Mike pulled the money out of his wallet. "Here you go."

"Thank you very much," she replied as Mike and Tina loaded their snacks onto one of the empty seats in their compartment. As soon as she left, Tina ripped open a Fizzing Whizzbee.

"I have no idea what this is, is that safe?" Tina asked.

"Who cares?" Mike replied. He grabbed a chocolate frog. "We can't take a trip to Hogwarts without trying wizard candy."

"True," Tina said, popping the treat into her mouth. Mike looked at the chocolate frog in surprise.

"There's a trading card inside!" he exclaimed. "Harry Potter. I wonder who—whoa!" Mike fell back into his seat as the frog jumped onto his shirt. "Holy crap!"

"Mike..." Tina began in a shaky voice. "Mike, I'm floating." Mike looked up at her in surprise. Sure enough, Tina's feet were hovering several inches above the ground.

"Oh my God," Mike breathed.

"I'm scared," Tina whined. "How do I get down?"

"I don't know," Mike replied. Suddenly the chocolate frog leaped onto his face and he screamed. "Get it off, get it off!"

"I can't!" Tina cried. "I don't know how to move!" She waved her arms frantically to no avail. "Mike, help me!"

"Ahhh!" Mike clawed at his face. Then he felt around blindly for the compartment door and yanked it open. He ran out into the corridor, leaving a screaming Tina behind him. "My face!" he yelled as he ran forward with his eyes closed.

Sam stepped out of his compartment, a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans in his hand. "What's going on?" he asked, looking at Mike in alarm. "Dude, are you okay?"

"My face!" Mike said again, bumping straight into Sam. The box of beans fell to the floor and scattered everywhere.

"Dammit!" Sam yelled. He bent down and tried to salvage the few beans that he could as Mike continued to try and catch the frog. At that moment, Dumbledore came out of his compartment. He looked at the beans scattered across the floor.

"Oh goodness. Allow me to help," he said, pulling out his wand. Behind Sam, Mercedes pulled open the door to the compartment, holding a goblet of pumpkin juice in her hand.

"What's going on?" she asked. Not noticing the mess on the floor, she stepped into the corridor right as Dumbledore strode forward. Mercedes stepped onto the beans and felt the floor slide beneath her. Mike and Sam watched in horror as she began to wobble. Then she fell forward, her cup flying out of her hand and emptying it's contents right over Dumbledore's head. As Dumbledore blinked pumpkin juice out of his eyes, Artie came wheeling into the corridor. Puck, Lauren, Quinn, and Kurt watched as he took a surprised Dumbledore by the hand.

"_My love_," he sang passionately. "_There's only you in my life. The only thing that's right..._" Dumbledore tried politely to back away, but Artie persisted. Pumpkin juice dripped from Dumbledore's beard onto Artie's lap. "_My first love. You're every breath that I take._"

"Mike!" Tina suddenly appeared in the corridor, still hovering. "I figured out how to move!" She tipped forward and began to fly quickly down the corridor. "Uh oh. I can't stop!" she yelled, waving her arms frantically. Mike and Sam pressed themselves against the walls of the corridor as Tina soared towards them. Mercedes remained on the ground, curling into the fetal position.

"_And I..._" Artie sang loudly. "_I want to share all my love-_" He was cut off as Tina crashed into him and his chair began to zoom down the corridor. The force of the collision caused Tina to fall to the floor in a heap.

"Oh, sweet ground," Tina practically sobbed, hanging onto the smashed beans and pumpkin juice puddle for dear life. "I'll never leave you again." Behind her, Artie's chair continued to move uncontrollably to the end of the train.

"He's going to crash thorough the door!" Sam yelled. "He'll fall onto the tracks! Do something!"

"I've got it under control!" Dumbledore said, pulling out his wand. But before he could cast a spell to stop Artie from moving, Trelawny stepped into the corridor, blocking his shot.

"The intruder is back!" she yelled. "To your posts!"

"Sybill, _move_!" Dumbledore yelled as Artie moved closer and closer to the end of the car.

"I'm going to die!" Artie screamed. Suddenly the bathroom door swung open. Artie crashed into it with a thud, flying out of his chair and landing on the ground just inches from the door that connected their car with the next. Brittany and Santana both stepped out of the bathroom, looking around in confusion.

"What's going on?" Brittany asked worriedly as Artie's chair spun on the spot. Trelawny looked at the newcomers and whipped her wand out of her robes.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Trelawny shrieked, and Brittany's arms and legs immediately snapped together. Unable to move her limbs, Brittany tipped backwards and landed with a clatter on top of Artie's crumpled body.

"Brittany!" Santana cried out. Then she looked at Trelawny and her eyes narrowed. "Oh hell no," she said dangerously. "I didn't grow up in Lima Heights Adjacent for nothing, bitch!" She ran down the corridor and jumped onto Trelawny, clawing at every inch she could reach. "Fix her, you old crone!"

"No!" Trelawny yelled. "I am resisting your Dark magic. You'll never get me to crack. Never!"

The sounds of her screaming brought Rachel and Finn out of their compartment. They looked around at the chaos in bewilderment. "Help," Artie croaked from the end of the car. "I'm being smothered!"

"Finn, come on!" Rachel said, pulling her boyfriend down the hall. They lifted Brittany's motionless body off of Artie and he pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his head.

"Can you grab my chair?" he asked. Rachel nodded and turned to grab it. Finn, however, looked at the ground next to her in shock.

"Brittany!" he cried out. "Oh my God, she's dead. Brittany!" He placed his hands on her chest and began pushing down. "Breathe, dammit!" He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers, blowing frantically.

Rachel whirled around. "Finn!" she said, smacking him in the back of his head. "Stop touching her face with your mouth."

"But I'm saving her life!" Finn replied.

"Let someone else do it!"

"But Rachel-"

"Help Artie," Rachel said, shoving Finn away from Brittany. Then she looked down at Brittany's motionless body. "At this rate, I won't even _need_ to experiment in college!" she said to herself. Then she leaned forward and resumed CPR.

"Hot damn Rachel!" Puck called from the end of the corridor. "You are getting some serious action today. Mercedes, give me your camera!"

"She's hurt, shut up!" Sam said, leaning over his girlfriend, who was still lying on the floor. "Mercedes, are you okay?" he asked, shaking her.

"My weave!" she replied, running her hands over her hair. "What happened to my weave?"

Quinn looked up at Dumbledore, who was still standing with his wand outstretched. "Aren't you going to do something?" she asked.

Dumbledore looked around, overwhelmed. "I don't know where to begin!" he said helplessly. Suddenly Snape appeared in the corridor. He took one look at the scene in front of him and pointed his wand at his own throat.

"Oh great, he's going to kill himself," Kurt said. "Really professional."

"_Sonorus_," Snape said. Then he began to speak in a booming voice. "Everybody stop!"

Startled by the volume, everyone did as they were told. Rachel froze, her mouth inches from Brittany's. Santana jumped off of Trelawny's back and threw the hair she had ripped out onto the ground. Mike finally caught his chocolate frog and stuffed it into his mouth. Everyone looked at Snape fearfully. "Thank you, Severus," Dumbledore said finally. "I was about to do the same thing."

Snape just rolled his eyes. He flicked his wand towards Brittany and she began to stir. "Wow, Rachel, that was awesome," she said, sitting up. Rachel blushed and Finn narrowed his eyes. Snape ignored them and swept his wand down the corridor. Artie's tire tracks washed away. The pumpkin juice and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans disappeared from the floor. Then he waved his wand in front of Dumbledore and Tina, cleaning them. Finally, he levitated Artie into his wheelchair. Then he pointed his wand back at his throat.

"_Quietus_," he said. Then he turned to Trelawny. "Sybill," he said sternly. "None of these students are working for You-Know-Who." Trelawny eyed Santana warily and Santana glared back at her. "Why don't you come back into the compartment and calm down."

"I think a strong drink is in order," Dumbledore said, following him. "For medicinal purposes, of course." The three Hogwarts teachers disappeared into their compartment, leaving the New Directions standing in the corridor sheepishly. Will gave all of them a stern look.

"I don't know how much of this was an accident," he began, "but I'm guessing not much. You guys have been causing trouble since the very beginning of this train ride."

"It was the magic candy that started it," Mike said quickly. "They didn't warn me that it was going to come alive."

"Or make me fly," Tina muttered.

"Regardless, I am still very disappointed by how everyone has conducted themselves so far," Will said. "This game, or whatever it is you guys are doing, is over. I want everyone to go back into their compartments and _relax_."

"Or practice," Rachel called from down the corridor.

"Or practice. As long as there's no more kissing involved," Will said. "Seriously. I don't want to hear any more commotion from anyone until we pull into the station, is that clear?"

"Yes Mr. Schue," they all muttered in unison. They began to trudge back towards their compartments. Santana rushed to Brittany's side.

"Are you okay?" she asked quickly. "Did that bat lady hurt you? Don't worry, I'm still going to get her when Mr. Schue isn't looking."

Brittany watched as Mercedes and Artie rubbed their sore body parts and everyone else looked shaken. "Are you kidding? That was so fun!" she exclaimed. "We should do it again."

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><p><strong>AN: We are finally getting to Hogwarts in the next chapter, don't worry. As always, thank you for reading, and if you'd like to leave a review, it would make my day. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY for the brief hiatus. Regularly scheduled posting will resume now. As for this chapter, I'm not crazy about it because it's kind of a filler. There will be more action in the next one. Always, thanks for reading and reviewing :D**

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><p>When they pulled into Hogsmeade station, the sky was dark. Everyone got out, eager to see Hogwarts for the first time, but all they saw was a winding road on one side and a small village on the other. "We'll be taking carriages to the castle," Dumbledore announced, leading them towards the road. "The ride is very short."<p>

There was a collective groan, since nobody really wanted to spend anymore time sitting. But they trudged towards the road anyway, towards three carriages sitting on the road. As they got closer, they began to notice something odd about them. "Um, there's nothing driving these," Tina pointed out.

"Yeah I know."' Mike squinted. "There's like a place for the horses but there aren't any there."

"What are you guys talking about?" Kurt said, catching up to them. "There are horses." He looked closely. "If you can call them horses. They're hideous."

"Kurt, there's nothing there," Tina said. "Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _you_?" Kurt countered. "There are animals driving the carriages!"

"No there aren't," Mike began.

"There are." Dumbledore popped up suddenly behind them, looking at them with a serious face. "The creatures driving the carriages are called thestrals."

Tina narrowed her eyes at the front of the carriage. She looked upset that she had been incorrect. "I don't see them," she said. "Are they, like, really small?"

"No, they are the size of a horse," Dumbledore said. "But they can only be seen by those who have seen death."

"Oh." Tina fell silent.

"What do you mean, 'seen death'?" Mike asked.

Dumbledore opened his mouth to answer, but Kurt spoke first. "People who have seen someone die." He looked at Dumbledore for confirmation. "Right? I saw my mother die."

Dumbledore nodded. "That is correct," he said. "If you have witnessed death, you will see the thestrals."

Tina looked sheepish. "That's odd," she said quietly.

"If you think that's odd, wait until you see a flobberworm!" Dumbledore said cheerily.

They reached the carriages and the kids split up into groups, with the adults taking their own carriage. Mike and Tina climbed into one behind Brittany and Santana. Santana gave them a look before pulling Brittany to the very end of the row. Mike and Tina wisely chose to sit in the opposite corner. After a few moments, the carriages jerked and began to move forward, pulled by their invisible leaders. Mike and Tina met Brittany and Santana's eyes as they rode along the windy road. Brittany smiled and Santana glared once more before turning towards her friend and leaning in close to her ear.

"I need to talk to you," Santana in a low voice.

"Haven't we been talking for the entire day?" Brittany asked, seeming genuinely confused.

"It's about what happened on the train."

"Oh. You mean when we joined-" Brittany began, but Santana clapped a hand to her mouth. She glanced furtively over at Mike and Tina, who were both looking out of the open window and seemed not to have noticed anything. Santana breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't say it out loud," she said.

Brittany frowned. "Okay," she said. "Whatever. What did you need to talk about?"

"We shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

Brittany glanced around, confused. "I thought you wanted me...like that," she said. "What are you even talking about?"

Santana sighed. "I _do_ want you, Brittany, I just..." Mike and Tina both glanced up and Santana stared silently at the ground until they looked away again. "I just don't want it to be like that, anymore. I want us to be _together_ together. We shouldn't just fool around, it isn't right."

"Well then what are you waiting for?" Anger flashed through Brittany's eyes. "I'm right here."

Santana turned away, frustrated. She forced herself to take several deep breaths. "This isn't a good time," she said, unable to look Brittany in the eye. "We have a really important competition coming up."

"We _always_ have an important competition coming up," Brittany pointed out.

"Not after this one."

"You know what I mean." Brittany grabbed Santana's arm and forced her around so that they were facing each other again. "There's always something."

"I swear there won't be after this," Santana said. "Seriously. Once we get home, it'll be summer and we can spend every day together like we always do. Only this time, there won't be any cheer camp or boyfriends or anything. Just you and me."

Santana expected this to cheer Brittany up—it would have worked on the old Brittany—but this time, her friend just shook her head sadly. "And what happens when summer ends?"

Santana swallowed hard. "We'll deal with that when we get there."

Brittany fell silent and they rode the rest of the way in silence. After only about five more minutes, the carriages shuddered to a halt. Mike and Tina exited quickly and Santana narrowed her eyes at them. She suspected that they had heard parts of her conversation with Brittany and she was not happy about it. She motioned for Brittany to go in front of her, and both of them climbed out of the carriages and landed on a soft lawn. They looked in awe at the castle in front of them.

"It's so big," Brittany said.

"It's beautiful," Rachel observed from beside her. "And it looks really old, too. Imagine going to school here."

"I think it's sort of creepy," said Tina. Dumbledore went in front of them and walked up the short staircase to the enormous double doors in front of him. He placed a hand against them and they swing open to reveal a large, candlelit hall behind them. The New Directions tentatively made their way inside.

"This is the Entrance Hall," Dumbledore announced. Instead of walking forward towards the main staircase, however, he turned to the right and went through another set of double doors. "And this," he said, "is the Great Hall."

"Whoa," Rachel said, voicing the opinion of everyone else perfectly. The Great Hall was huge. It was made of stone and had four impossibly long tables, at the end of which was another table situated on a raised platform. The walls went up into what appeared to be nothingness, because there did not seem to be a ceiling. Instead, the twinkling stars of the night sky shone down on them. Like the Entrance Hall, the place was lit with torches instead of lights. What were most interesting to the students, however, were the fourteen place settings laid out at the end of the nearest table.

"Dinner!" Finn exclaimed. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Yes, dinner," he said. "I would take the time to show you the castle but I know that you're all hungry, so feel free to sit down." Nobody hesitated before grabbing a seat at the table. "Snape went down to inform the house elves that you're here, so..." he paused for a moment. Suddenly, the bowls in the center of the table filled with food. Several people gasped. Finn fell out of his seat in shock. "Ah, yes," Dumbledore said, completely oblivious to their surprise. "Well, dig in! Someone will be by to collect you at the end of your meal."

Nobody spoke for several minutes as they all reached around the table, filling their plates with food. The candy on the Hogwarts Express had been good, but it hadn't been a real lunch, and they were all starving. Even Rachel seemed to have forgotten that she was a vegan as she began to eat her way through a rib eye steak. "This food is the best!" she exclaimed, spraying Artie with pieces of meat as she spoke.

"It's magically delicious," Brittany said as she munched on a piece of steak and kidney pie. "Like Lucky Charms."

"It must be," Tina said. "I mean, I'm eating a kidney and it tastes awesome."

"Now, don't eat too much," Will said, filling his first plate with food and reaching for a second one. "We want to be polite."

"Isn't that a little hypocritical, Mr. Schue?" Kurt asked, eyeing Will's plates questioningly.

Will looked down at his food and then back at Kurt. "I'm older. I need more sustenance."

"This school is awesome," Finn said with his mouth full. "Imagine if we went here, we woul-" he stopped speaking suddenly as his face grew pale. He coughed once. Then twice. Then his face became red.

"Finn?" Rachel turned towards him in concern. "Are you okay? Finn?"

Finn shook his head, grabbing on to his throat. He leaned forward with his mouth open as though he were going to throw up, but nothing came out. Will looked at Finn wide eyes. "I think he's choking."

"Oh my God," Rachel said, beginning to panic. She put her hands on Finn's back. "Can you breathe?" she asked. Finn shook his head back and forth. His face turned even redder as he tried to cough. "Someone help!" Rachel exclaimed.

Everyone just looked around helplessly. Finally, Kurt leaped up from his seat and ran around the table so that he was behind Finn. He put his hands around his stepbrother and began to squeeze him tightly. "It's not working!" Kurt exclaimed. "I'm not strong enough. Mr. Schue, maybe you could try."

"Hold on," Will replied. "I think my phone is ringing." He began to search through his pockets. "Where did I put it?" he muttered to himself, lifting his briefcase off the floor to search.

"Finn!" Rachel exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "Finn, I love you! Please stay with me."

"Hey, Brittany," Santana said from Rachel's other side. "Can you pass the potatoes?"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, five tiny creatures came rushing into the hall. They were only a few feet tall, with huge pointy ears and pillowcases for clothes. They came running towards Finn at full force, knocking Kurt over as they ran. The rest of the New Directions barely had time to register the presence of these strange beings before two of them were lifting Finn from his bench. A third one grabbed him and took over where Kurt left off. "Dobby will not let a student die!" the creature shrieked. "No student has ever died during Dobby's time at Hogwarts!"

"And pass the salad, too," Santana told Brittany. "Just keep it coming."

"Brown smurfs!" Brittany said as she handed Santana the salad bowl. "Can we take them home with us?"

Despite the brown smurf's determination, he wasn't making too much progress. Finn had gone from red to purple, and the poor creature simply did not have the strength to perform the maneuver on someone as large as Finn. One of his friends began to help him, but they still made no progress. Rachel was outright sobbing now. "I don't want him to die," she wailed. "We haven't even gone to second base yet!"

"Oh, I guess my phone _wasn't_ ringing," Will said, finally pulling his phone out of his briefcase. He examined it closely. "That's weird. Maybe my hallucinations are coming back..."

"Alright, alright!" Lauren shouted so commandingly that the creatures stopped what they were doing. She got up from her seat and walked towards Finn. "I was going to let him die, but my conscience won over. Excuse me." She pushed her way past all of the smurfs and wrapped her arms around Finn's stomach. After several thrusts, during which Finn flopped like a rag doll, he finally began to cough. A chicken bone flew out of his mouth and right onto Santana's plate. Lauren let go of him and he collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily. Rachel threw herself down next to him, tears pouring down her face.

"You prick," Santana said, looking down at the chicken bone wedged into her shepherd's pie. "I was going to eat that."

"Is sir okay?" one of the creatures asked.

"Yeah," Finn breathed. "I'm alright."

The creature clapped his hands together. "Well then, we house elves must return to the kitchen." He turned to go and three of the house elves followed him. Then he turned back around. "Winky? What is Winky doing?"

The last house elf was standing next on the bench next to Brittany, trembling slightly as Brittany looked into its ears. "It's so cool!" Brittany said, running a finger along Winky's nose. "It's like a troll doll."

"Britt," Quinn said patiently. "Let her go."

"Fine," Brittany said with a pout. She turned away and Winky hopped onto the ground with relief. As the house elves left, however, Brittany watched them go with a devilish look in her eye.

A few minutes later, dessert appeared on the table. Though everyone was stuffed, they all ate happily—except for Finn, who seemed to have not completely recovered from his near death experience. Everyone else enjoyed the various pies and ice creams and hot cider until they physically could not eat any more. When they stopped eating, the dishes on the table were magically wiped clean, and a woman who they had not seen before entered the Great Hall. She strode towards Will, holding out a hand. "Hello," she said. "I'm Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house."

"Will Schuester," Will said, taking her hand in a firm shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Yes," McGonagall replied. "Our house has offered to host you for the rest of the week. We have two extra dormitories in Gryffindor where all of you will be staying."

"Thank you very much," Will replied. "We're so grateful that you can host us."

"It's our pleasure," McGonagall said, though she did not look very pleased. She seemed to be the type of woman who permanently appeared stern. "If you're done eating, you may follow me."

One by one, the New Directions got up from their seats, feeling drowsy from fullness. They followed McGonagall back into the Entrance Hall, and this time they went forward, up the staircase, and through a door. When they got through, they found themselves looking up at least a hundred feet at a bunch of moving staircases. As everyone stared at them in awe, McGonagall pulled out her wand and pointed it at Artie. "Whoa," Artie said in alarm. "What's going on?"

"_Locomotor_," McGonagall said, and the chair suddenly rose two feet into the air. Artie cried out in surprise, but McGonagall paid no attention to him. She directed the floating chair in front of her and stepped onto the staircase. Artie floated along in front, and everyone else followed. When the first staircase ended, they stepped onto a second. There seemed to be an endless number of staircases, but finally, they got to what appeared to be the top floor. McGonagall led them to a portrait of a huge woman in a pink dress. The painting suddenly moved, and everyone gasped. "Password?" she asked.

"Pimp slap," McGonagall replied, and the portrait suddenly swung forward. "By the end of the year, she usually runs out of good password ideas," McGonagall explained. "Follow me please."

One by one, everyone climbed into the hole behind the portrait. Once they were inside, they found themselves in a large, cozy living room area complete with puffy chairs and a fireplace. It was packed with students, all of whom looked at the New Directions curiously as they went inside. McGonagall ignored them and went straight towards the staircases in the corner. Right next to one of them was a little door, with a sign on it that said _Arty's Lift_. "The boys dormitory is up here," she said, indicating the staircase by the elevator. "Girls is up here. Go all the way to the top. The house elves have already taken care of your luggage."

"Thank you very much," Will said to her.

She turned to Will. "You will be staying in one of our empty staff dormitories. Follow me."

"Alright," Will said. He looked at the students. "Bye, guys. Be good. I'm going to come and find you in the morning."

"I'll make sure they behave, Mr. Schue," Rachel assured him, earning her a glare from most of her friends.

"Thank you Rachel," Will said. He turned to follow McGonagall back out of the portrait. The New Directions looked awkwardly from the staircases to the Hogwarts students who were still staring at them from their various places around the common room.

"I normally never say this but...let's call it a night, yeah?" Puck said.

"Good idea," Lauren replied. So for the first time in the history of glee club trips, the boys said goodnight to the girls and they each went up to their own dormitories to go to bed.


	7. Chapter 7

Will came into the boys dormitory at eight o'clock the next morning, wearing pale pink robes and looking chipper. "Hey kids!" he said, turning on the light and watching as they stirred. "It's time to get up, we're going on a tour."

Kurt sat up first, looking around the room with bleary eyes. His eyes traveled across the clothes strewn across six open suitcases. "Did you guys seriously make this much of a mess last night?" he asked in shock. "It looks like my room during a time of outfit-planning stress."

"Yeah, you're going to have to clean up in here when we get back," Will said, looking critically at the state of the room. "But right now, you all need to get up and get dressed. There's breakfast downstairs."

The mention of food was enough to pull Finn and Mike out of their stupor, but Sam, Puck, and Artie remained firmly asleep. Puck reached forward and pulled a pillow over his head. "Whatever, at least the bathroom is empty," Kurt said, throwing the covers off of himself and grabbing his bag of moisturizer. He walked across the room to the communal bathroom and disappeared inside.

"I want all of you to get up," Will said as Sam finally began to stir. "You need to be outside the common room in thirty minutes. I'm going to wake up the girls." He walked out of the room. Finn leaned off the bed and reached into his suitcase, pulling out a shoe. He tossed it over to Puck's bed.

"Ow!" Puck yelled as the shoe hit his back. He rolled over, squinting against the light. "Godammit, what was that?"

"You gotta get up, dude," Finn said. "Mr. Schue said we need to go to breakfast in thirty minutes."

"Like hell we do," Puck said, putting his head back under his pillow. Within moments, he was snoring again. Finn sighed and leaned back onto the bed.

Twenty minutes later, Kurt had gelled his hair and gotten dressed in a pair of red skinny jeans and a black v-neck sweater. The rest of the boys, on the other hand, had not made much progress. Puck had fallen off the bed onto the floor and was still sleeping. Artie was still knocked out as well, even though the other boys had placed him in his chair and forced his glasses onto his face. Finn was digging around in his suitcase for his clothes, and both Sam and Mike were in the bathroom. So far, they'd only managed to make a bigger mess than before. With a sigh, Kurt slipped out of the room, not bothering with an explanation because everyone was too busy to see him go.

He walked down the stairs to the common room, which was thankfully empty. Sitting on one of the red puffy chairs by the fireplace, he pulled his iPhone out of his pocket. After looking at it for a moment, he dialed Blaine's number and pressed it to his ear. There was nothing but static. Then one faint ring sounded, but after that, the line went dead. Kurt frowned and looked at the screen. His battery was full and he had four bars, so he couldn't figure out what the problem was. Kurt tried Blaine's number again, and the same thing happened. He tried turning the phone off and on again, but it didn't help. Maybe something was wrong with the phone? Kurt would have to ask to borrow someone else's later.

"Whatcha doing?" a voice said from behind Kurt. Kurt turned his head in surprise to see a boy standing by the staircase up to the dormitory. He was wearing blue pajamas and his blond hair looked messy, as though he had just gotten out of bed. The boy was looking at Kurt curiously, and his eyes flickered to the phone in Kurt's hand.

"Oh, I was just trying to call someone," Kurt said. "But my phone doesn't work." He shrugged awkwardly and watched as the boy came closer.

"What's that?" he asked, sitting down on the couch next to Kurt's chair. He leaned towards the phone in interest. Kurt looked at it too, bewildered.

"It's a phone," he said slowly. "Haven't you seen an iPhone before?" Kurt seriously doubted that anyone didn't know what an iPhone looked like, but maybe it was possible.

The boy shook his head. "No. I mean, I'm Muggle-born, but I don't spend a lot of time in the Muggle world, so I don't really see the new gadgets or anything."

"Oh." Kurt was utterly confused. It was clear that wizards didn't use phones, and Kurt wondered how they communicated without this essential piece of technology. Before he could say anything, however, the boy spoke again.

"I'm Colin Creevey," he said. "You must be one of the kids from the New Directions."

"Yeah I am," Kurt replied. "I'm Kurt Hummel. Are you in the Crescendowls?"

"Yeah," Colin replied. "Cool. Professor Snape said you guys are probably our most difficult opponents."

Kurt blushed and shrugged modestly. "We're pretty good, I guess," he said. "But you guys must be too if you made it all the way to Internationals."

"Yeah," Colin said again. He made eye contact with Kurt and didn't say anything more. Kurt shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"So, um, if you don't use phones, how do you communicate with people?" he asked.

"By mail," Colin replied. "Or by floo powder, I guess, if you want to talk instantly."

"How do you use...um...floo powder?" Kurt asked.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I know it involves sticking your head into the fire," Colin said nonchalantly. Kurt's eyes widened.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be trying that," he muttered. He looked back at Colin. "But isn't mail kind of slow? I mean, if I send a letter back to Ohio, it won't even get there before I go back home."

"Not necessarily," Colin shrugged. "You must have been using a slow owl. Mine could get there in about a day," he said. Then his face lit up. "You could borrow him if you want!" he said.

"You guys send mail by owl?" Kurt asked in surprise.

"Yeah, of course."

Before Kurt could respond, the girls began to emerge from their dormitory. Despite the fact that they had managed to get ready faster than the boys, they didn't look too much better. Quinn's newly short hair covered her entire face so that she looked like a mop. Tina's eyes were unfocused and half-closed. The seven of them came downstairs in complete silence. Mercedes and Santana were last, both of them looking livid, and Kurt shuddered to think about the fight that had likely just gone down between the two of them. The girls walked past Kurt and Colin without a second glance and went straight towards the portrait that served as a door to the common room. Kurt sighed.

"I should go," he said to Colin. "But it was nice to meet you."

"Yeah, okay," Colin said. "I think I'll see you sometime later today when we meet you guys officially."

"Alright, see you," Kurt said, getting up and preparing to follow Mercedes out of the portrait hole.

"Kurt!" Colin said as Kurt began to leave the common room. Kurt paused and turned around. "When you write that letter, let me know and I'll help you mail it," Colin said.

Kurt nodded gratefully. "Thanks," he replied. "I'll let you know." He put one foot through the hole. "Bye," he said with a small wave.

"Bye, Kurt!" Colin replied, waving excitedly.

* * *

><p>They ate breakfast quickly in the Great Hall. The few students who had woken up early enough to be at breakfast by eight-thirty watched them curiously. No one really spoke, however, because they were too tired to do anything. When they finished, they wandered over to the corner of the Great Hall, where Will and a large man were waiting for them.<p>

"Guys, this is Hagrid," Will announced. "He's going to be giving us a tour of the castle."

"Er, hey," Hagrid said, giving them an awkward wave. "The castle is pretty big so I'm just gonna give yer a short tour of the places that you need to know the location of and, er, you'll be assigned to shadow a Hogwarts student later and they'll show yer the rest o' the castle. Um, is everyone ready?" He looked around at everyone's blank faces. Nobody spoke, and Rachel looked at them disdainfully.

"Yes," she said politely to Hagrid. "We're all ready."

"Good. So this is the Great Hall, which you saw already. There are four tables, one fer each house, and then a teacher's table. Kids basically come and eat whenever they want but there are specific times when each meal is served..." Hagrid continued to talk about the meals, and everyone but Rachel began to zone out. Rachel was proud of herself for getting a full night's sleep. The rest of the girls had not been tired—after all, the time zone was five hours ahead—and they'd stayed up into the early morning talking. But Rachel had put on her eye mask and turned on her iPod's relaxing playlist to drown them out, and as a result, she had slept several more hours than the rest of them. Now she was ready to face the day—and prove to Mr. Schuester that she deserved a solo at Internationals.

"Any questions?" Hagrid asked as he finished talking about the Great Hall. Predictably, nobody raised their hand. "Good," he said, and he led the group of them out through a set of double doors. "This is the Entrance Hall, where you people came in yesterday. On'y it was dark then so I dunno if you saw it properly but anyway...here it is." He gestured lamely around him. Rachel had gotten a good look at the Hall when they had entered it last night, but she still looked around in awe. It was quite large.

"When was this castle built?" she asked, glancing over at Mr. Schuester out of the corner of her eye as she did so. She wanted to make sure he saw how attentive she was being.

"Er..." Hagrid looked slightly put on the spot. "I think about a thousand years or so...I wasn't exactly told when it was built."

"Ah," was all Rachel said in response. Looking around, though, she thought that a thousand years sounded about right. It was far older than anything in America.

"Over there is the Transfiguration classroom," Hagrid said, pointing. "You'll probably go there sometime this week."

"What is...Transformation?" Tina asked. "Is it a class?"

"It's not Transformation, stupid," Puck hissed. Mike glared at him. "It was something else."

"Oh yeah? Then what was it?" Tina shot back.

"Trans-Figure-Eight-shun," Brittany said happily. "It's where you make a figure eight in the dirt. I totally do it all the time at motocross practice."

"Er, no," Hagrid said, looking confused. "It's when yer transform things...you know...like make things into other things. Using magic."

"Oh." Brittany pouted. Hagrid just nodded slowly.

"Righ' let's move on," he said. They went forward and through the doorway that they had all come through on their way down to breakfast. "The Grand Staircase," Hagrid announced. "You came down it earlier." He paused as the staircase moved into position. Then he started upward. Finn and Sam each took hold of one side of Artie's wheelchair and followed the rest of the group.

"Now we're goin' to the firs' floor where there are a couple o' classrooms," Hagrid said. "Down the hall there is the hospital wing. Jus' in case you get hurt or sick or somethin.'" He led them into the hallway so they could see the hospital wing for themselves. It was fairly mundane. There were rows of beds spread out along the length of the room, all of them empty except for one at the end, which had curtains drawn around it. A plump woman in a gown entered the curtains momentarily. When she came back out, she spotted Hagrid and made her way over.

"Hello," she said. "You must be the students from Ohio."

"This is Madam Pomfrey," Hagrid said. "She's the nurse."

"Hopefully none of you have to see me again!" she said. She and Hagrid looked at each other and began to laugh. Will began to laugh, too. The glee kids looked at one another uncertainly.

"Oh, don't worry," Madam Pomfrey said, noticing that the children did not share her amusement. "People don't need to come in here very often. And when they do, it's usually for common issue—broken bones, potion burns, that sort of thing. No one has died in...how long has it been, Hagrid, a few months?"

"At least," Hagrid said with a nod. Rachel paled.

"Um, is this place dangerous or something?" she asked. "We can't afford any injuries. We have an important competition coming up."

"Relax," Madam Pomfrey said as Hagrid chuckled. "I was kidding. People don't usually die here. I mean, they do sometimes, but...well...it's been a lot longer than a few months, I can tell you that. And the last death doesn't really count, anyway, because that boy was in the Triwizard Tournament and people die in that all the time."

"He technically was killed by You-Know-Who," Hagrid corrected. "But I see your point."

Rachel continued to hyperventilate and Madam Pomfrey adopted a more stern tone. "Look, you're not going to die," she told Rachel firmly.

"Good," Rachel said in relief.

"...unless you encounter something dangerous."

"Alright," Will said, clapping his hands together. "I think we've seen enough of the Hospital Wing. Let's go to the next place."

"Right," Hagrid said, leading them out of the room. Madam Pomfrey waved to them as they departed. They walked back to the Grand Staircase and went up to the second floor. "This floor is pretty boring," Hagrid admitted. "I don' really know what's here, except that there's a bathroom that no one should ever go into. It's been outta order because it's the entrance to the Chamber o' Secrets. Er, yes, question," Hagrid said, pointing to Puck's raised hand.

"I'm just a little confused," Puck said, a devilish glint in his eye. "I thought the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets was in Lauren's pants."

"...what?" Hagrid asked, furrowing his brow. "Er...Lauren? Who is that?"

"Nevermind," Will said, glaring daggers at Puck. "Uh, the Chamber of Secrets, that sounds very interesting. Can we take a look around?"

"What?" Hagrid looked flabbergasted. "Of course not! The Chamber o' Secrets has been closed up ever since You-Know-Who turned out t' be hiding a basilisk in there. I think it's dead now but," he shrugged, "there's probably rats in there. An' firecrabs an' all that. And I dunno how to get out."

"Oh," Will said. "That's a shame."

Hagrid began to lead them up to the next floor. Somehow, Rachel ended up behind Brittany and Santana. "Wait, I still don't get it," Brittany was whispering. "There are rats in Lauren's vajayjay?"

Santana looked over at Lauren, who was holding Puck's hand, and rolled her eyes. "Probably," she replied. "And crabs, he said."

Brittany shuddered. "I'm glad I didn't have sex with her last week. It would suck if I had crabs."

Suppressing the desire to vomit, Rachel rushed ahead of the two girls so that she was at the front of the pack. "Third floor," Hagrid announced. He leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath. "The library is down the hall...you can go look...I'll jus' be here taking a little break."

Nobody really wanted to look at the library, but Will looked at them expectantly, so they went. It was probably the most uninteresting part of the castle, considering that all of them—with the exception of Puck—had seen a library before. There were more people in the library than had been in any other part of the castle, and they gawked as the large group entered simultaneously. The New Directions, conscious of the eyes on them, looked around self-consciously and then left quickly. Only Artie and Rachel lingered. "This is a cool place," Artie said.

"Yeah," Rachel replied. "I wonder how many books are in here."

"There are tens of thousands," said a voice from behind them. "It's the largest school library in the world."

Rachel and Artie turned around quickly. A girl with bushy brown hair was sitting at a table behind them, a feather in her hand and a roll of parchment in front of her. Next to her was the largest book that Rachel had ever seen in her life. "Uh, hi," Rachel said awkwardly.

"Sorry," the girl replied with a slight blush. "I just overheard your conversation. I'm Hermione Granger and I'm guessing you two are from the New Directions."

"Yeah, we are," Artie replied. "I'm Artie and this is Rachel."

"Nice to meet you," Hermione said. She smiled at Artie and blushed again. Rachel narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Are you a spy?" she demanded. "Are you in the Crescendowls?"

Hermione looked taken aback. "No, I'm not a spy!" she said. "I mean, I _am_ in the Crescendowls but I'm not spying. I was just doing my homework-"

"Don't worry about Rachel," Artie cut in. "She's sort of crazy. We just ignore her when she says things like that."

Rachel huffed. Hermione looked awkwardly between the two of them. "Alright," she said. There was an uncomfortable silence, and Hermione glanced back at her book. "Well..." she began.

The library door opened again and Santana came through it. "Everyone thinks you guys are hooking up, you know," she said loudly, causing the quietly working students to look up in alarm. Rachel quickly shushed her.

"We are not!" she hissed.

"Well, good, then let's go," Santana replied. "The fat giant caught his breath and wants to take us to the next floor."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said, moving to follow Santana.

"I'll see you later, Hermione," Artie said, wheeling himself after the girls.

"Bye," Hermione said as they left.

When Rachel, Santana, and Artie rejoined the group, they were already ascending the stairs. "We're gonna skip a couple o' floors," Hagrid said, "since there isn't really much to see up there. The top floor o' the library can be accessed from the fourth level." They got to the fourth floor landing and Hagrid started up another staircase. "The fifth floor has the music classroom where your choir rivals have their practice. So don't get any ideas." Hagrid attempted to laugh lightheartedly, but he was out of breath, and the result was that it sounded like he was choking. Embarrassed, he passed it off as a cough and continued. "The sixth floor has a place where...where we rest." They reached the sixth floor landing and Hagrid leaned against the railing, breathing heavily.

"We literally _just_ had a break," Santana said, looking at Hagrid through narrowed eyes.

"Santana," Kurt said warningly. "Don't be obnoxious." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and frowned. There was still no service. With a sigh, he began to draft a letter to Blaine in his head.

"Is this the floor where we're going to have our rehearsals?" Will asked.

"Oh!" Hagrid exclaimed. "I almost forgot. There's an empty classroom down the hall that Dumbledore says yer supposed to use for yer practices. There's a piano in there and some...uh...Muggle instrument thingys."

"Good," Will said with a nod.

"Alright the last stop o' the tour is the seventh floor," Hagrid said, heaving himself up and continuing onward. "From this floor you can access the Divination tower as well as the Gryffindor common room, as you all know. This is also the floor you need to be on to get to the Owlery." Hagrid sighed colossally. "Any questions?"

Brittany raised her hand. "What's an Owlery?" she asked.

"It's where they keep the owls," Hagrid replied. Brittany raised her hand again. "Er, yes?" he asked.

"What are owls?"

Hagrid thought for a moment. "They're like birds," he said. On'y they...uh...they carry mail. And they sleep during the day. But only when they're not carryin' mail." Hagrid paused, as though he had confused himself. "They're birds," he said firmly. Puck raised his hand. "Yeah?" he asked warily.

"Are there parties here?" he asked. "Like, wild parties? And girls, are there lots of girls?" Lauren slapped his arm. "Not for _me_," he said to her quickly. "I was just wondering."

"Er, no parties that I know of," Hagrid said. "But I don' really get invited, know what I mean?" He laughed uncomfortably but stopped quickly when he realized that nobody was laughing with him. "Well," he said clearing his throat. "If there are no more questions I guess this is where the tour ends."

"Hagrid!" Everyone turned to look as Professor McGonagall hurried down the corridor towards them. She smiled tersely at the group of kids as she passed them and went straight up to the giant. "Have you seen Professor Flitwick?" she asked breathlessly.

"Er, no, sorry, I haven', Professor," Hagrid replied.

McGonagall sighed angrily. "Well, no one has seen him all day!" she protested.

Hagrid shrugged. "He might o' gone for a walk or somethin.' I sometimes see teachers walkin' by my hut on Sundays."

"Well, hopefully," McGonagall said. She looked over at Will. "Nice to see you again," she said quickly before hurrying away.

"Sorry 'bout that," Hagrid said. "She woulda talked to you properly but she gets a little stressed sometimes."

"It's okay," Will said. "Is one of the teachers missing?"

"Nah," Hagrid said, waving his hand dismissively. "It's nothin.' It can he hard to find teachers on occasion. It's a big place, as you know." He laughed. "Well I better go and I know you all need to get to yer practicing."

"Thank you, sir," Rachel said, reaching forward to shake his hand.

Hagrid gave Rachel a strange look as he took her hand. "Er, yer welcome," he said. As he walked away, Rachel turned back to the group smugly. They were all glaring at her.

"Well," Will said. "We're meeting the other choir in about an hour. Why don't we go take a look at our choir room?" He led them back towards the staircase. Kurt lingered by Rachel's side.

"You know, your chances of getting picked for a solo are a lot lower if everyone hates you," he pointed out.

Rachel huffed. "We'll see," she responded.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So I'm not trying to be a butthead, but I'm genuinely concerned...I haven't been getting very many reviews. Do you guys like it? Have suggestions or anything? Just let me know. I want to make this good.**

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><p>After the tour, they all went to check out their choir room. It was surprisingly like their one back home, except instead of having a Brad, the piano played itself. Puck and Lauren had a lot of fun switching the sheet music and making the piano play different things. They pulled out two pieces of music from Mr. Schuester's bag—which randomly turned out to be <em>Born This Way <em>and _My Headband—_and made the piano go back and forth between the two songs so fast until it got frustrated and started playing a funeral march instead. After that, they couldn't make it go back to normal, so everyone slumped down in their chairs and tried to fall asleep. Rachel offered to help them with some scales sans piano ("I _do_ have perfect pitch, after all") but the group unanimously voted that she should try not to speak for the duration of the day. So they all dozed for about an hour until they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Will called. The door opened and Professor Snape walked in, followed by a group of kids in Hogwarts uniforms. They looked awkwardly at the New Directions before filling in the empty chairs in the room.

"On behalf of Hogwarts School and the Crescendowls, we would like to welcome you," Snape deadpanned. "And to help you assimilate to Hogwarts and make your week enjoyable, we have decided to pair all of you with a student from our choir."

"For the rest of the week, you'll attend classes with this person," Will added. "And hopefully you will all become friends." He smiled stupidly and everyone rolled their eyes.

"So," Snape announced. "I'm just going to read off the names and you can stand when your name is called so that you can find each other. Ready? Okay. Harry, Brittany. Ron, Finn. Hermione, Artie. Draco, Rachel. Vincent, Noah. Gregory, Lauren." He paused as the people who he had already called tried to find one another. "Ginny, Santana. Colin, Kurt. Lavender, Sam. Parvati, Mercedes. Neville, Quinn. And Luna, Mike and Tina." He put his list down. "Any questions?"

"I think everyone thinks we're, like, the same person," Tina whispered to Mike.

"It's because we're Asian," Mike whispered back.

"I don't think you guys look the same at all," Luna said helpfully. "You each have a very different arrangement of Wrackspurts in your brain."

"Well, if there are no questions," Snape said, "then we'll leave you to become acquainted." He nodded at Will and the two of them left the room. There was silence as everyone checked out their partner. Colin grinned at Kurt excitedly. Hermione and Artie exchanged small smiles. Malfoy glared at Rachel menacingly and Brittany tried to poke Harry's scar.

"Well," Santana said, clapping her hands together. "Now that we've met, I say we all go our separate ways. See you tomorrow? I guess?"

"We haven't really met at all," Ginny said, already disliking Santana. "Maybe we should like...go around the room and say something about ourselves?"

"I'll start!" Brittany exclaimed.

"Uh, alright, go ahead," Ginny said.

"I'm Brittany and I like cats, motorcycles, cheerleading, fondue, Santa—uh...Santa Claus." She looked around awkwardly. "And I like cheese."

Harry shook his head in confusion. "Um. Alright, I'm Harry and I like Quidditch." He turned to Ron, who was sitting next to him.

"Hey," Ron said with a small wave. "I'm Ron and I like Quidditch, too. And I like...um, I like food, I guess."

Finn was next. "I'm Finn," he said. "I have no idea what Quidditch is and I like Rachel and football." He turned to his side and smiled at Rachel. Puck pretended to throw up.

"Hello, I'm Rachel," Rachel said. "I like singing and Broadway and Finn of course."

"Okay, seriously, when we said we wanted to get to know you, we didn't actually mean it," Malfoy said. "I don't need to know everybody's relationship status."

Santana nodded at Malfoy. "I like you, vampire-boy," she said.

Malfoy smirked. "Thanks. I'm Draco Malfoy and I hate all of you." There was a brief silence as everyone looked expectantly at Crabbe. Malfoy punched him in the arm.

"What? Oh! I'm Crabbe," he said.

"Puck."

"Goyle."

"Okay, you guys actually need to say something about yourself," Ginny said. "We know your names already."

"I'm Lauren," Lauren said. "I like wrestling and I hate show choir. I don't know why I'm here, but I guess your school is kind of sick. Even if it has too many stairs." She looked at Ginny. "Is that good enough?"

"Yes," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "I'm Ginny, I like Exploding Snap, and that dumbass over there is my brother," she said, pointing at Ron.

"I never would have guessed," Santana said sarcastically, looking at Ginny's distinct hair with a grimace. "Hi I'm Santana, and I hate everyone, too." She looked over at Malfoy and he winked. Across the room, Brittany pouted. "Except for you," Santana tried to whisper, but everyone heard. Quinn rolled her eyes at her friends.

"I'm Quinn, I like...dogs," she said lamely. Then she turned to Neville. He looked intimidated by her.

"I'm—I'm Neville," he stuttered. "Um, there isn't really anything interesting about me." He turned to Luna. "Just go to the next person."

"Hi, I'm Luna," she said cheerfully. "I like friends and soup. Also, I once caught a Nargle with my bare hands and named it Henry. But then I had to let it go because I was worried it was trying to take my shoes." She turned to Mike.

"Uh..." Mike looked bewildered. "I'm Mike and I like to dance.

"I'm Tina," Tina said. "And Mike is my boyfriend, _not_ my brother. Just so everyone is clear."

"Oh my God," Brittany whispered to Harry. "I never knew that."

Colin was next. "Hiya, I'm Colin and, um, I like to sing I guess. And I like Quidditch too, but I like watching it, not playing it. And I like photography."

"I'm Kurt," Kurt said next. "I like singing, too, and," he looked at Colin and chuckled, "I'm relieved to hear you you like something that I've actually heard of."

Colin looked excited. "I can show you some of my pictures, if you want. They _move_."

Kurt smiled back. "Alright."

"Ugh, stop flirting," Santana said. "This is taking long enough already."

"Hey, I'm Sam," Sam said, holding up his hand. "I play guitar."

"I'm Lavender and I _love_ guitar," Lavender said, looking at Sam with reverence. Santana started to mutter something about flirting again, and Mercedes quickly interrupted.

"I'm Mercedes and I know it's been said by a bunch of people, but I love singing. And music in general." She paused and glared at Lavender. "And the guitar," she added.

"Hi, I'm Parvati," Parvati said from Mercedes's other side. "I like dancing."

Hermione was sitting on Parvati's other side. "I'm Hermione," she said. "I like to read." She shrugged. "I don't really know what else to say."

Finally it was Artie's turn. "I'm Artie and I don't really know what to say, either. I guess I like reading, too."

"Good," Ginny said. "Now we all know each other. More than we'd like to, maybe, but still."

"Do you guys play sports?" Malfoy asked abruptly.

"Yeah, most of us play football," Finn replied.

"Wrestling," Lauren said, pumping her fist in the air.

Malfoy nodded. "Well, cool. I have an idea. Maybe we could play a game of Quidditch later."

"Okay, what is this Quidditch thing everyone keeps talking about?" Puck asked. "Seriously, I'm confused."

"It's a game," Ginny said. "It's...a little bit like football."

"We'll teach you," Malfoy said. "It'll be fun. A little friendly competition to kick off the week, you know what I mean?"

"The losers could jump into the lake naked!" Brittany exclaimed. Everyone looked at her. "What? I saw it in _The Parent Trap_."

Harry got up and moved closer to Malfoy. "What are you doing?" he whispered. "There's no way they could beat us at Quidditch. They've never even flown before."

Malfoy grinned. "Exactly," he whispered back. Then he turned to Finn. "Are you guys in or what?"

Finn shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Just prepare to get your asses kicked," Puck said. "We were twelve and one in our football league this year. That's twelve wins, one loss." He looked around at his teammates. "No ties."

"That's...not accurate," Mike said, but everyone ignored him.

"Alright," Ron nodded. "How about after dinner? It won't get dark until late, so we'll have plenty of time."

"Sounds good," Lauren said. "You best bring it."

"Oh, we will," Malfoy said mischievously. "We definitely will."

* * *

><p><em>Dear Blaine<em>,

_I'm writing this letter because the phones don't work here and I couldn't think of any other way to talk to you._

Kurt paused and tapped his quill against his lip. He hadn't actually written a letter to anyone in years, and he wasn't really sure what to say. When they had gone back to the common room after meeting everyone, Colin had excitedly given him a quill, a bottle of ink, and a piece of parchment. Kurt couldn't quite figure out why some things the wizards had seemed to be so innovative, while others seemed so primitive. But rather than ask Colin and get a response that would surely last the rest of the day, he had decided to get to writing and hope that Blaine wouldn't have a heart attack when an owl arrived at the window of his dorm at Dalton Academy.

_This school is a little bit like Dalton, but way bigger. Also, the staircases and the pictures move. And the uniforms aren't as cute. Although I'm sure if I saw you in it, I would change my mind..._

Kurt smirked. When he had called Blaine earlier to explain his phone call, his boyfriend had been quite understanding. It made Kurt want to find out what kind of desires Blaine was hiding under his dapper exterior, and hell if Kurt wasn't going to tease him until he found out.

_We all have to shadow students from Hogwarts. Mine is named Colin. His voice is higher than mine and I'm pretty sure he plays for our team. Then again, my gaydar has been known to fail me before. If you were here, you could tell me for sure. The food here is amazing. I'm going to need to hit the gym the second I get home, though._

Kurt frowned at his letter.

_I'm sorry that I'm rambling. I've literally never written a letter before in my life. Anyway, Rachel is totally trying to suck up to Mr. Schue because she wants a solo at Internationals, but I still think I have a pretty good shot. Santana and Mercedes are also vying for a spot but there's no way that's going to happen. Still, it's tiring listening to them fighting. They were arguing a few minutes ago because someone moved Santana's bag from one side of the room to the other. I'm pretty sure it was Tina because she looked guilty, but she's wisely decided to keep quiet. Quinn made Santana and Mercedes sit on opposite sides of the common room, but they keep glaring at each other and I think all of the Hogwarts students think we're crazy._

_I miss you so much and I wish I didn't have to wait a whole week to see you. Still, I guess it's worth it to be able to compete at Internationals. I hope the Warblers are doing well. Say hi to Jeff and Wes for me. Also, if you could write back and find some way to get the owl to come back to me, that would be great. I want to hear from you._

Kurt paused thoughtfully. Then he smiled.

_I love you._

_Love, Kurt._

Kurt read the letter over. It was pretty bad, but he figured Blaine would appreciate it nonetheless. He folded it up at placed it in the envelope that Colin had provided, writing _Blaine Anderson_ on the front. Colin had told him that as long as he wrote the person's name, the owl would be able to find them. It seemed like a long shot, but Colin seemed sure of himself, so Kurt decided to trust him. Putting the letter in his pocket, he got up from his seat at one of the tables in the Gryffindor common room and went to find Colin.

He started up the staircase just as one of the kids from the Crescendowls was walking down. Kurt struggled to remember his name. "Hi...Neville?" he said uncertainly.

"Yep," Neville replied. "Hi Kurt. What's up?"

"Have you seen Colin?"

"I'm here!" came a voice from further up the staircase, and a moment later, Colin appeared above them. "Whaddya need?"

"I have my letter," Kurt said, holding it up.

"'Kay, good," Colin said. "Let me get my shoes."

A few minutes later, the two boys had left the common room and were walking over to the Owlery. "Thanks for showing me how to do all of this," Kurt said. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem," Colin replied. "Who are you writing to, anyway?"

"My boyfriend," Kurt said without thinking. He was so used to everyone in Lima knowing he was gay that he didn't bother hiding anything. He remembered too late that Colin was not aware of his sexual orientation.

"Boyfriend?" Colin asked with wide eyes. "C-cool." They reached some stairs and Colin started upward. Kurt followed, feeling awkward. Colin's reaction hadn't been very telling, and Kurt couldn't tell if Colin was uncomfortable or curious or just plain indifferent. Kurt wished he had Blaine's talent. Blaine always seemed to be able to read people. He had correctly predicted the coming out of three different guys at Dalton, and he had also totally caught on to the gay guy who worked at The Lima Bean. And after having coffee with her _once_, Blaine swore that Santana was a lesbian...and although Kurt had yet to confirm that particular suspicion, it certainly wasn't out of the question.

They got up to the Owlery and Kurt looked around in shock. There were tons of owls, dozing calmly on perches, completely oblivious to the fact that they had just been joined by two humans. The room itself had large, open windows for the owls to fly out of. Kurt moved over to one of them, but stepped back quickly when he realized that they were about a hundred and fifty feet from the ground. He turned around to see Colin stroking a gray owl, gently waking it from it's slumber. "Is that yours?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, this is Hex," Colin said happily. "I named him my first year here. It was sort of the only magical word I knew."

"He's beautiful," Kurt said, walking over to the owl. He held out his hand slowly. Hex regarded it suspiciously, but after a moment, he nipped at Kurt's fingers gently. Kurt took this as a good sign, and he patted the owl with the back of his hand.

"Want me to tie the letter on?" Colin asked.

"Sure." Kurt pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to Colin. Colin looked at the name and then held it up to Hex. "Uh, can he read?" Kurt asked.

Colin shrugged. "I'm not sure. But he always seems to know where to go once he looks at the name. Do you have it, Hex?" he asked. Hex blinked. "Good." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of string. Then he poked a small hole in the corner of the envelope and threaded the string through it. Hex held out his leg and Colin gently tied the string around his ankle. When he was done, he reached into his pocket again, pulling out a small cookie. Hex quickly snatched it up and abruptly flew into the air.

"Whoa," Kurt said, stepping back in surprise. Hex circled the room once before flying out the window. "He's fast."

"Yeah, these owls are, like, magically fast," he said. "Blaine will probably get your letter pretty soon." He dusted off his hands and headed for the door. Kurt followed him. "How long have you guys been dating?" Colin asked.

"A few months," Kurt responded. Then he had a thought. "Are you dating anyone?"

"Nope," Colin said. "I never really have." He shrugged, embarrassed.

"It's alright," Kurt said. "The right...person...will come along someday."

"Yeah, hopefully," Colin replied. He didn't sound too concerned. Kurt swore internally. He was making absolutely no progress on figuring out Colin's sexual orientation. But at least he had a project for the week. And Kurt loved projects.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

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><p>After dinner, everyone gathered in Entrance Hall and Harry led them down to the Quidditch Pitch. The rest of the Crescendowls were already there, some of them in the bleachers and some on the field. Fourteen broomsticks were lined up on the grass, in two rows of seven. Between the rows sat an old chest with the Hogwarts crest emblazoned on the front. Harry paced back and forth in front it it.<p>

"There are three Chasers," he began, addressing the group of bewildered New Directions members. "They try to score with the red ball, the Quaffle. Two Beaters use bats,"—with his foot, Harry nudged the bats resting beside the chest—"and hit the little brown Bludgers at the other team to try and hinder them. The Keeper guards the goal hoops and the Seeker has to catch the Snitch."

"You get ten points for every goal," Ginny added. "And one hundred and fifty for the Snitch. The game doesn't end until someone catches the Snitch."

Puck nodded, taking it all in. "Sounds easy," he said, even though the rest of the glee club looked unsure. "Let's do this."

"We'll give you a minute to get your team ready, then," Malfoy said, a smug look in his eye. Each group got into a huddle.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Hermione asked nervously. "They've never flown before. What if one of them falls and breaks their neck or...dies or something?"

"Hermione, must you always be so morbid?" Ron chided. "Come on, it's just for fun. They'll be fine."

Several feet away, the New Directions were gathered in their own huddle. Puck had quickly taken charge. "Alright, Sam, Finn, and Mike are Chasers since they can throw and catch. I'll be a Beater with..." he looked around the group "...Lauren."

Lauren smiled dangerously. "Oh, this is so on."

"Artie," Puck began.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to play," Artie said, eying the brooms uncertainly. "I don't think I'm very well-equipped."

"Fair enough," Puck said. He looked around at everyone else. "Um, Kurt? Do you think you could be Seeker?"

"I try to avoid contact sports as much as possible," Kurt said dismissively.

"But you won't even be in contact with anyone," Finn pointed out. "You'll just be flying around looking for the Snitch."

"Come on, Kurt," Artie urged. "We really need you. You're small and light and you'll probably be able to fly fast."

Kurt sighed. "Fine," he said. "But we're still a player short anyway, and there are no more guys. Get some of the girls to play."

"But me, Santana, and Quinn are going to be cheerleaders, right guys?" Brittany said, looking hopefully at the other two girls.

"I guess," Quinn responded. "There's no way I'm getting on one of those brooms anyway."

"Okay but Santana should play," Puck said. "She would probably kick some serious ass." He turned to her. "Be Keeper."

"No," Brittany said with a pout. "I want her to be a cheerleader with me."

Santana looked over at her and smiled. "Of course I'll be a cheerleader, Britt," she said. Puck groaned. He glanced over at Tina and Mercedes, but they both shook their heads with a glare, so he didn't even bother.

"Rachel," he stated simply.

"What?" She looked up at Puck. Then her eyes widened. "No. No way."

"Come on, Rach," Finn said. "We need you."

"There is no way that I am going to risk my health in order to play a stupid game. In fact, I don't think anyone should play. It looks dangerous and we shouldn't be taking such a risk before the biggest competition of our lives."

"Uh, Rachel, Internationals is six whole days away," Artie pointed out. "We're here to have fun and bond with the other choir."

"Why do guys always think bonding means participating in a showdown of some sort?" Rachel asked in exasperation. "I would be perfectly happy to get to know our new friends in a more suitable setting, but this is absolutely out of the question."

"Rachel..." Finn began. He walked over to her and pulled her to the side, slightly out of earshot of everyone else. "It would be really cool if you did this," he said, leaning in close to her. "Like, really cool. It would make everyone hate you less."

"I don't care," Rachel said stubbornly, but her proximity to Finn was causing some of her resolve to crumble. Finn reached a hand up to her shoulder and touched it lightly, allowing his caress to travel down her arm.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he said as Rachel repressed a shiver. "And I promise it will be super fun."

"But..." Rachel bit her lip. "I won't be very good, probably."

Finn's face broke into a smile. He knew he had won. "It doesn't matter," he insisted. "Just try your best. We'll make sure the ball doesn't even get near you."

"Yeah, we got this, Rachel," Mike assured her. Rachel looked up at the rest of her team, who were all watching her expectantly. Rachel hesitated for only another moment.

"Fine," she said, grinning in spite of herself. The rest of the boys cheered.

"Let's do this!" Puck shouted.

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><p>The game got off to a slow start. First, the Hogwarts students decided it was only fair to let the newcomers do a few laps on the brooms first. Most of them picked it up pretty quickly (Kurt, it was revealed, seemed to have a natural talent for it), but unsurprisingly, Finn and Rachel struggled quite a bit. Sam and Puck had to grab hold of their brooms and guide them, but after a few minutes, they were able to get the hang of it. Rachel even threw a hand into the air and cheered as she flew a lap around the field.<p>

"This is so exhilarating!" she called over the sound of air rushing past her ears.

"I know!" Finn called back. He reached out a hand and grabbed hers. "Whoa," he said as he momentarily became unsteady, but soon he was able to balance himself and fly as he held onto Rachel.

"This is so fun," Rachel said, positively giddy from both the sensation of flying and the feeling of Finn's hand in hers. "I'm glad you made me play."

"Hey!" Puck called from across the field. "It's going to get dark soon, let's go!"

"Okay!" Finn responded. He let go of Rachel's hand and flew into the middle of the field next to the other Chasers. Rachel moved back to her place by the goal posts.

On the ground, Hermione stood next to the chest of balls, waiting for Harry's signal. Mike, Sam, and Finn hovered above her, facing Malfoy, Ginny, and Colin, who glared at them menacingly. A little ways back, Crabbe and Goyle brandished their bats with a sort of perverse joy. They were quite formidable to look at, though Puck and Lauren were definitely an even match. Lauren was practically growling as she stared down the other team, and Colin kept looking over at her fearfully.

"Is everybody ready?" Harry called out as he circled overhead. There was a general reply of assent. "Okay...go!"

Hermione opened the chest and allowed the Bludgers and the Snitch to fly free. Then she picked up the Quaffle and threw it as high into the air as she could. In the blink of an eye, Malfoy flew down and caught it.

"Crap, go!" Sam shouted. He, Finn, and Mike dispersed, and they were able to win the ball back in spite of their late start. Sam flew straight at Malfoy, forcing him to make a pass to Ginny, which Finn quickly intercepted. He flew haltingly at first, trying to keep the ball in his hand while still operating the broom, but he handed it off to Mike who zoomed forward and made the first shot of the game. It was saved by Ron, but only by the tips of his fingers. From the stands, they heard Brittany's encouraging cheers.

The game turned out to be pretty evenly matched. Ginny had several breakaways, but Malfoy wasn't very good, and Colin dropped the ball whenever it was passed to him. Finn, Mike, and Sam, on the other hand, worked as a seamless unit; their years of football together allowed them to work well as a team. But Ron was a much better Keeper than Rachel, who had pretty much let in every goal that was aimed her way. Rachel's shining moment came when Ginny made a shot that Rachel blocked accidentally with her face.

"Rachel, are you alright?" Finn asked, dropping the Quaffle and zooming over to her. Rachel clutched the side of her face in pain. Puck called a time out, and Finn grabbed the end of Rachel's broom and helped to lower her to the ground. Once their feet touched grass, they dismounted and were joined by the rest of the team.

"I'll be okay," Rachel announced as they all looked at her in concern. "Really."

"Okay, but we need a game plan," Puck said to the group. "We're only ten points down, we can make this game ours. Kurt, any word on that Snitch?"

"It's impossible to see!" Kurt said, wiping his forehead. "And it just keeps getting darker."

"Well, keep trying," Puck said. "That's what we need to wrap up this game. In the meantime, we need to outfly those Chasers. We shouldn't even be losing at all, they really suck." He looked critically at the Chasers.

"Okay but that Ginny girl is freaking fast," Sam pointed out. "She keeps getting past me."

"Double team her, then," Lauren said. "Forget about the tiny kid. Put someone on Malfoy and don't let him get in any assists. She can't do the work all by herself."

"Excellent," Puck said, looking at Lauren in admiration. "That's right. Listen to her." They turned as the rest of the girls joined them from the stands.

"Good game!" Brittany said excitedly. "Is it over? Did we win?"

"Not yet, Britt," Puck said. "But we're going to."

"Smack them with the Bludgers," Santana suggested. "If we take out both the redheads, I think the game is ours."

"In case you haven't noticed, Puck and Lauren are playing against two gorillas," Mercedes said, indicating Crabbe and Goyle.

"Yeah, but they're just swinging blindly at everything," Santana reasoned. "Use some skill. You guys can do this."

"Hell yeah, we can," Lauren said, and she and Puck high-fived.

"Okay, Rachel, you better yet?" Puck asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just hope this doesn't leave a bruise. It wouldn't be prudent for me to have a blemish at our performance, especially when-"

"Okay, good," Puck interrupted. "Let's get back up there. And you guys," he said, turning to the girls who had been in the stands. "If there's anything you can do to distract them..."

Quinn nodded. "We'll figure something out."

The game continued, rougher than before. Puck and Lauren hit the Bludgers ruthlessly. Sam, Mike, and Finn increased their speed. And like Lauren had suggested, they forgot about Colin and focused their attention on guarding Ginny. This seemed to help: twice, she dropped the ball, and she was once forced to throw it back to Ron, who fumbled and allowed Mike to rush in and score. After only ten minutes, the New Directions had pulled ahead by two goals.

"Hey!" Quinn screamed from the stands as Malfoy flew down the sidelines with the Quaffle in hand. "Hey, I think you're really cute!" Malfoy ignored her. "I'm going to take off my shirt!" she tried again. Then she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up, bra included, exposing herself to everyone. Puck dropped his Beater's bat. Finn practically fell off his broom. The game seemed to come to a standstill, except for Malfoy, who flew past a shocked Rachel to throw the Quaffle through the hoop. Then he made a banking turn and came back around, zooming right past a half-naked Quinn.

"Nice," he said with a smirk as he went by. Quinn groaned and pulled her shirt back down, slumping in the bleachers.

"Hide me," she moaned.

"You're so dumb," Tina laughed.

The McKinley boys regained their lead, and Malfoy once again came down the sidelines with the ball. "Do you have another show for me, blondie?" he asked as he came close. Mike rushed at him, prepared to take the ball away, but at the last second, Malfoy dove out of his reach. "Come on," he said, holding the ball out with one arm so that Mike couldn't grab it. "Try to distract me," he goaded. Quinn continued to hide her face in her hands. Mike lunged again, and this time, Malfoy flew several feet upward.

"Look at this!" Brittany cried out, reaching for Santana. She jumped into the shorter girl's lap and began kissing her passionately. Santana kissed back, her arms snaking around Brittany's waist. Malfoy gaped and dropped the Quaffle right into Mike's waiting hands. Mike took it and shot down the field, scoring another goal before Malfoy could even come to his senses. When he did, he cursed and shot off down the field. Brittany pulled away from Santana, satisfied.

"Is that actually hotter than my boobs?" Quinn asked angrily.

"Probably," Brittany said, getting off Santana's lap and standing up. "Go New Directions!" she yelled out. Quinn turned to Santana expecting a sarcastic insult, but the other girl was still frozen and seemed to be in a sort of daze. Quinn rolled her eyes and turned away.

"I guess you've lost your touch, Quinn," Tina said with a smirk.

"Your idea was just bad from the beginning," Mercedes pointed out. "I mean, why would you want to take off your shirt? At least if no one noticed them," she pointed at Santana and Brittany, "they would still get to make out with each other."

"Next time, we should make it look like you cut off your head," Tina suggested to Mercedes. "By the time he looks closely enough, someone will take the ball from him."

"Seriously? _That's _a good idea?" Quinn asked in disbelief.

"I think it's an awesome idea," Brittany said.

Quinn's eyes narrowed as she thought about this logic. "Screw this," she muttered angrily.

"Look!" Brittany pointed at the field. The three Chasers on the Hogwarts team had stopped playing, and they were all hovering on their brooms, cheering excitedly. On the other end of the field, Harry was zooming towards the ground faster than they had seen anyone fly before. Kurt was hot on his tail, but there was no way that the other boy was ever going to catch up. In a matter of seconds, Harry reached out his hand, grasped at something, and came out of the dive with a grin.

"Dammit," Quinn said. "We lost. Let's go." The girls got up from their place in the stands and rushed onto the field. The New Directions touched down on the ground, looking angry.

"We were beating them!" Sam insisted. "How did we lose?"

"This game is idiotic," Puck said. "One hundred and fifty points for catching the Snitch? So that's all you have to do, then. What's the point of even trying to score any goals if that's what determines the game?"

"Oh, calm down," Rachel said. "It was just a little friendly competition. We should go and congratulate them on a game well done."

"We don't have to," Quinn pointed out. "There coming over here." Everyone looked over as the Hogwarts kids walked over, broomsticks over their shoulders, looking smug.

"Good job," Harry said when they had gotten closer. "You managed to hold your own pretty well."

"Hold our own?" Lauren repeated in disbelief. "We were beating you."

"But you still didn't win," Ginny said, narrowing her eyes at them. She was undoubtedly still mad about the Bludger than Lauren had sent flying at her stomach right before the end of the game.

"Now, don't get mad," Malfoy said condescendingly. "It's just a game. Of course, there's still our agreement."

"What agreement?" Finn asked.

"Ask her," Ron said, pointing at Brittany. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Brittany?" Sam asked.

"What?" Brittany asked in response. Then understanding washed over her face. "_Oh_," she said, looking at everyone nervously. "Um. I'm sorry."

"What is she talking about?" Puck asked. He looked at Malfoy. "I don't remember agreeing to anything."

"Before the game," Malfoy reminded him. "Remember? Losers have to jump into the Great Lake..."

"Naked," Ginny finished for him.


	10. Chapter 10

There was a pause as the news sank in. Then Rachel spoke up first. "Hell no, I will not jump into any lake," she said, surprising everyone with her forcefulness. Once she had spoken, chaos broke out.

"That's ridiculous, we didn't agree to that!" Finn said angrily.

"That lake looks dirty," said Kurt.

"Look, I know you all want to see me naked, but I'm in a relationship right now," Puck reminded everyone.

"You promised you would do it!" Ginny said. "You have to!"

"Look, no one _has_ to do anything," Hermione said. "Let's just calm down...it's just a game, like Malfoy said."

"Yeah, she's right, no one has to do it," Ron said. Everyone got quiet. "If you're too shy," Ron continued, "that's fine. Actually, that's good. We can easily beat you at Internationals if you're too scared to even jump in the lake."

Kurt gave Harry a death stare. Then he slowly began to unbutton his shirt. "Fine," he said, still glaring. "If that's how you want to play it, then that's what we'll do. You should know that I never back down from a challenge."

"Kurt," Finn muttered. "Can't we find some other way to get them back? Maybe we could have a foosball tournament or something."

"I don't know about the rest of you, but _I _am going to do this," Kurt said loudly. "So when we're making our setlist and you're wondering who has the courage to carry a solo in front of the most critical judges we've ever faced, you can remember this moment." He finished unbuttoning his shirt and he took it off, revealing a surprisingly toned chest. He tossed it over to Mercedes. "Keep that off the ground, it's from J. Crew," he said.

"Oh screw it," Puck said. "Take us to the damn lake and we'll strip for you queers. If that's what it takes to get you to shut the hell up."

With a smug look on his face, Harry led the group out of the Quidditch stadium and across the sloping lawn under the quickly darkening sky. The night was bringing a bit of a chill, not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to remind anyone that they would be cold once they had jumped into the lake. "I'm not so sure about this," Finn muttered in Rachel's ear as they walked.

Rachel had her arms crossed firmly. "If Kurt thinks that this is going to get him more respect than me around here, he is dead wrong. I'm going to get that solo at Internationals and I am not going to take off my clothes to do it."

Behind her, Ginny and Hermione walked close together. "You know, with his hair all wind-blown like that, Kurt looks pretty hot," Ginny pointed out. Hermione giggled and nodded.

"I know, a lot of these guys are really cute," she said. "And," she blushed, "we're about to see them naked."

"You sluts," Santana hissed, causing both of the girls to jump in surprise. When they turned around, however, Santana pretended to be interested in something across the grounds.

"Who said that?" Ginny whispered to Hermione. The other girl just shrugged in response.

They reached the edge of the lake and the boys looked at it uncertainly. Kurt, however, slipped out of his shoes and walked straight to the edge. He dipped a foot into the water. "It's not terribly cold," he said to the group. Then he turned to Malfoy. "What exactly do I have to do?"

"You have to take off all your clothes, first of all," Malfoy said. "Then wade in until you can't touch the ground anymore. Then you can come back out."

Kurt swallowed and nodded. Then he turned to his friends. "Is anyone coming?"

"I guess I am," Puck said. He took off his shirt and dropped his basketball shorts to the ground. Everyone gasped. "What? I like to go commando, okay?"

"That's so hot," Lauren breathed.

"You coming in, baby?" he asked her with a smirk.

Lauren shrugged. "I have no problem being naked in front of all of you, anyway." She stripped off her clothes as Puck watched her hungrily.

"This is getting weird," Quinn said. "Can you just go into the water, please?"

"Fine," Puck said. He and Lauren went over to the water and splashed their way in, shivering as it got deeper. "Damn, this isn't too comfortable for my package," he complained.

"Kurt, for all that bravado, are you even going to go in?" Mercedes asked. Kurt was still standing by the water's edge, feeling it with his toes.

"Fine," he conceded. He unbuckled his belt and then awkwardly removed his shorts and briefs, handing everything to Mercedes. "Remember," he said seriously, "these cannot touch the ground." Then he hurried into the water to join Puck and Lauren.

Once all three of them had gone in, Finn, Mike, and Sam knew they had to join them. They undressed furtively at the water's edge and then ran into the water, Finn moving much faster than the other two. He only stopped when his entire body was hidden from view, and then he turned back to face the shore, his face red.

"This is totally turning me on right now," Brittany admitted.

"Well it's not turning _me_ on," Santana complained. "Berry! Take off your clothes."

"No!" Rachel said firmly. "I will not degrade myself this way. I didn't want to play in the first place and I certainly cannot be considered part of the team since I did very little to help them anyway."

Malfoy shrugged mischievously. "Rules are rules," he said.

"Yeah, rules are rules," Tina echoed, clearly enjoying Rachel's discomfort. Even Mercedes did not step in to help her.

"Then mark the date and time because Rachel Berry is about to break the rules. I am not going to go into that water!"

"Do it!" Quinn insisted.

"Yeah, do it!" Ron said.

As everyone tried to convince Rachel to go in, Hermione took a step back from the crowd. Colin Creevey was standing behind everyone, his face bright red. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine!" Colin said quickly, turning even redder.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "If you say so," she said. Behind her, the people in the water began to come back to the shore, except for Lauren and Puck, who were swimming out deeper and splashing one another. Colin's eyes widened as he saw the rest of the boys coming back.

"I think I left my wand at the field," he said, and before Hermione could say anything else, Colin ran off. Hermione just shrugged and turned back to the angry mob that was preparing to accost Rachel Berry.

"Can't I do something else?" Rachel pleaded.

"No!" came a collective shout from everybody.

The boys came out of the water and pulled on their shorts, joining the group. "What's going on?" Mike asked.

"Rachel won't go in," Tina responded. Behind her, Sam caught Finn's eye and they exchanged a mischievous look.

"I'm not taking off my clothes," Rachel announced to the group. Suddenly, Finn and Sam rushed up behind her. Before she even knew what was happening, they had each taken hold of one of her legs and hoisted her up onto each of their shoulders. Rachel screamed and grabbed onto their heads for dear life as they rushed towards the water. "STOP IT!" she screeched. "I'M GOING TO DIE!"

Finn and Sam just laughed as they got deeper and deeper into the water, not caring that their shorts were becoming completely soaked. Once the water was almost to their chests, they dropped Rachel in, and she slid under the water. A moment later, she came up, gasping for air. Everyone on the shore cheered.

"You!" Rachel gasped, still taking in deep breaths. Both of the boys collapsed into the water, laughing hysterically. "That was not funny!"

"Yes it was," Sam said when he had finally calmed down. He leaned back in the water and started floating on his back. "You should have seen your face."

"Or heard yourself," Finn reminded him, and both boys laughed again. Rachel huffed and began to make her way back to the shore. "Oh come on, Rachel, it was just a joke."

"Now my clothes are ruined!" Rachel said, but Finn could tell by the sound of her voice that she was hiding a smile. He waded up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"They'll be fine," he assured her.

"I could have died," Rachel said, leaning into his embrace.

"No you couldn't have," Finn said. "I wouldn't let that happen."

Rachel turned around to face Finn. "Really?" she said, her face serious.

Finn swallowed. "Really." They looked at each other for several moments. Then suddenly, Finn grabbed her waist and dunked her under the water.

"Finn!" Rachel spluttered when she came back up. She blinked water out of her eyes and looked up to see Finn swimming quickly away. "Oh, I am so going to pay you back for this!" she yelled, kicking her legs and swimming after him.

Eventually, everyone made their way back to the shore. Hermione graciously performed a spell to dry them, and for a moment, they forgot that they were supposed to hate each other. Until Malfoy stepped forward to the front of the group. "Alright, so you guys didn't back down," he said. "Not bad. Although it's not as impressive as if you had won the game in the first place, but still."

"It was a stupid game!" Sam exclaimed. "Challenge us to a real game like football and we would have won, no contest."

"There is nothing stupid about Quidditch," Harry said, offended.

"Yes there is. You're stupid. Even the _name_ is stupid," Brittany said.

"Britt," Puck hissed. "I appreciate your help, but considering that you were the one who got us into this whole naked lake mess, I think you should just be quiet."

Brittany pouted. "Fine," she said.

"Look, whatever," Sam told Malfoy. "You can think what you want. But when Internationals comes around, we'll see who the real winners are."

Malfoy shrugged. "So what? Even if you do win a show choir competition, you're always going to be the guys who lost Quidditch and had to jump into the Great Lake naked." He smirked at all of them. "We'll see you tomorrow morning. Come on, guys."

The rest of the Hogwarts kids looked uncertainly from Malfoy to the New Directions before following him back towards the castle. Everyone watched them go solemnly. "Well, that didn't go very well," Rachel said. "I must say, I'm disappointed by the amount of animosity that I'm seeing here. We're all students. We all like to sing. We should just be friends. You know, this is what's wrong with the high school experience. Everybody just-"

"Rachel," Puck interrupted. "Stop talking."

"We can't let this go," Santana said.

"I agree," Lauren said.

"Don't worry," Puck assured them all. "The Puckmonster is going to fix all of this. I promise."

* * *

><p>That night, the boys called a meeting in their dormitory. "We're here to discus something very important," Puck announced to the group. "Tonight's topic is...the loss of our pride."<p>

"Although whether or not we ever had any is still a point of debate," Artie piped up.

"Whatever," Puck said, holding up a hand to silence him. "Lauren and I were talking today, which is a rare occurrence, since we're usually too busy macking-"

"Noah," Lauren began warningly.

"Sorry," Puck replied quickly. "Anyway, we decided after the whole Quidditich incident that we can't just bend over and take this. Internationals starts now. We need to show these guys who's boss so that by the time the competition rolls around, us beating them will just be icing on the cake."

Puck paused and allowed his words to sink in. Most of the guys were already onboard with the plan, but the girls did not seem as eager. Aside from Brittany and Santana—who looked like they were already scheming—the rest of the them seemed uncertain. "What exactly did you have in mind?" Mercedes asked.

"Just some harmless pranks," Finn said quickly. "We don't want to do anything drastic. We just want to scare them a little."

"Harmless, yeah right," Puck snorted. "We're gonna do whatever it takes to bring these guys down."

"Agreed," Lauren said. "Don't forget, they made us get naked."

"Please, you sluts were just waiting for a chance to show some skin," Santana scoffed. "Still, I think this is a good idea. Just to scare them."

"You girls don't need to help if you don't want to," Artie suggested. "We've already discussed a few things that we might do."

"I'm definitely helping," Lauren said. "So you better not try to count me out."

"Yeah, Santana and I can pull some pranks on them, too," Brittany said. "We used to do things like this for Coach Sylvester all the time."

"Excellent," Puck said, rubbing his hands together. "We're starting tomorrow, as soon as we can get away from the people we're shadowing. Does anyone remember for sure where their choir room is? I'll try to draw a map of it."

"I should write out some of our plans," Mike said. "So we don't forget them."

"Come here, Britt, I have an idea," Santana said. The two girls crept off to the corner and began to whsiper. Quinn watched them go and debated joining them. But they didn't seem to notice they had left her out—again—so she decided not to. She looked for someone else to talk to. Lauren and Puck were drawing a map, and the rest of the boys were talking quietly. Mercedes and Tina were trying to convince Kurt and Rachel to join in. Nobody seemed to remember Quinn. In fact, she could have left the room right then and she was sure no one would have noticed.

The truth was that Quinn was still angry. Nothing had changed. She had gotten a haircut, but nobody had even asked about it—it was like she didn't exist. And Santana had finally convinced her to care about glee club, but it was forever ruined for her when stupid Rachel and Finn (her _ex-boyfriend_) had decided to make out on stage. It didn't matter that they had won anyway—she had gotten home from New York more furious than before, and the only reason that she hadn't quit New Directions right then and there was because if she did, she would lose her only two friends in the world. But as she watched Santana and Brittany giggling in the corner, she realized that she already _had_ lost them. They were in love. Quinn was absolutely sure of it. And it didn't matter how nice they were to her or how many shopping trips they took her on or how many times they offered to come to her house to watch a movie—she would always know that they would rather be alone. She would always come second. Just like she had come second to Rachel. Just the thought of it was enough to make her want to destroy the glee club for good. To take away the one thing that made Rachel Berry feel that she was better than everyone. To make everyone realize that underneath their singing and dancing and garish costumes, they were all just Lima losers and they always would be.

Quinn had _big_ plans for Internationals. And this time, they didn't consist of getting a fucking haircut.


End file.
